Page 112 of Runaway in the Mafia
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
My vision went red, and the last time that happened, Carlo ended up dead. I backtracked towards the cupboard. Away from her. She was an idiot and took a few steps towards me.
“Stay the fuck where you are, Ahana, and answer the damn question.” I dropped her phone and stormed towards thenightstand. “What am I? Not good enough? Not rich enough? Don’t I fuck you enough to oblivion? Should I do it more? Is that it?” My breath rattled in my chest. “Because I can. Because you’re a fucking addiction. You’re inside me, and I can’t squeeze you out.”
She was silent. Probably thinking I’d lost my shit. I had. She’d done it again. Made me lose my fucking marbles. I ran my hand angrily through my hair. My fingers jingled like they had a shock wave attached to them. My hands groped for the nearest thing to ground me.
“I thought I was my father. I thought I’d be addicted to anything with a pussy. Turns out I’m addicted only to my wife, but she’s still thinking about her fucking ex.” A hollow, painful laugh crawled out of my throat. “Dead ex. Abusive ex.” I found myself torn. “Am I that bad,mia ammaliatrice?That I don’t even win over him?”
“No,” she gasped.
“Then what the fuck is it?” I whirled and swung my arm towards the mirror. The lamp in my hand crashed against it. Thudded to the dressing table before toppling onto the floor. The noise of shattering glass and the steel lamp rolling on the wooden floor splintered through the room. With it, any plans to come back to what it was before, broken. Damaged. It was all fucking destroyed.
“How do I win you in this?” I asked quietly. “How do I get you?” Her eyes pooled with tears. “Because I want you. All of you.”
“You already have me.”
I told myself I’d have her and be done with it. Just a fuck and a goodbye. Turned out I was wrong. I wanted everything. Her fucks. Her dreams. Her desires. I wanted to go to sleep with my dick inside her and wake up to find my mouth between her thighs. I wanted to hold her head when she had those headachesand be the one to give her the relief for a hangover. But the worst part was that I wanted her to want me like I wanted her.
I smiled sadly. “It doesn’t look like that from where I stand,mia ammaliatrice.”
“It’s just…” Her breath hitched. Her fingers found her locket and squeezed. “My family doesn’t know about you.”
I am her fucking secret.
“And here I was, making sure the entire world knew you were mine,” I said, my tone laced with bitterness.
Her guilty gaze skittered away from mine. “They think I’m still married to Rajesh.”
“And why would they think that?” I paced forward, vibrating a breath away from hers. “Fucking why?”
“Because I didn’t tell them, okay? Because I’m a coward. I’m terrified. You don’t understand. You’re Italian. I’m Indian.”
I cocked my brow, and she gave me an angry glare. “We don’t divorce,” she yelled. “We don’t walk out of a marriage. We don’t bring insult to our families.” She laughed. “You couldn’t understand. They’ll disown me! And I don’t even care about that. My father will stand by me. But he’s sick, and I cannot give him this stress. I simply cannot.” She drew in a painful breath. “I will not have his death on my hands.”
“So you’ll pretend to be married to a dead man?”
She dropped her head. I didn’t allow her to take the easy way out. Putting my fingers on her chin, I tipped it up. “Look at me when you fucking break this marriage.”
“Let’s just not tell them,” she pleaded. “Just for a little while.”
“Yeah? A little while?”
She nodded eagerly.
I swallowed tightly, and it felt like sand had crawled into my windpipes. I didn’t think I’d ever experienced this strange feeling before. I guessed this was what heartbreak must feel like.“I disagree,mia ammaliatrice.You are mine as much as I am yours. And I am for sure not hiding you.”
I took a step back and grated the words out. “Pack your bags.”
Her eyes were big, tear-filled. Desperate. “What? Why?”
I laughed. She had to ask? “I’m taking you to Mamma.”
I turned away, and she grabbed my arm. Pulled me back. “No, Vitale.”
Why does she have to make everything so fucking hard?I gently unclasped her hand from mine and walked to the door. She was sobbing. I didn’t have the courage to look. The sound already ripped at my heart.
“You choose,” I told her through my clenched teeth. “I’ll be out in my car. If you’re not there in ten minutes, I’m moving out. If you are, then I’ll take you to Mamma.”
