Page 69 of Gunner
“Been busy at the bakery, but I needed to stop by and grab something from Kade’s cabin. I was just headed back to work.”
He smiled and patted his stomach. “Those muffins were delicious.” His gaze lifted over my head before returning to mine. “Is Kade with you? I don’t see his bike.”
I shook my head and fought to keep my voice level as I answered, “I haven’t seen him since this morning when I left for work.”
Someone called his name, and he smiled, patting me on the back. “It was good to see you, Sadie. Don’t be a stranger.”
“I won’t,” I responded.
Keeping my cool had never been so hard. I wanted to yell at him, to tell him I knew his secret, but instead, I walked to my van and pulled away from the clubhouse, knowing somewhere on the property right now, the man who thought he could take from me without remorse, was getting the justice he deserved.
The gate opened, allowing me to leave to compound, and I exhaled the breath I was holding as I drove away. I arrived at the bakery and checked my face before walking into the back door of the building. Racheal was busy taking trays of cookies from the oven, and I jumped in next to her, hoping to lose myself in the recipes instead of worrying about what was happening to Kade and Dalton.
I always knew they were outlaws and seeing the extent of what they were capable of should have lessened them in my eyes. Instead, I loved and respected them more for doing what they thought was right, in the face of what could be severe repercussions. Shortly after one, I told Racheal I was leaving for the day and fought the tremors in my hands as I drove away from the bakery.
I stopped halfway home, pulled into the parking lot of a large chain store, and put the car into park. Reaching over to my purse, I pulled out the well-worn envelope and looked at the sealed back, knowing this was the right time to read Kade’s letter.
Pushing my finger under the flap, I opened the envelope and took out the single piece of paper folded inside. With tears filling my eyes, I began to read the words he wrote over two years ago, when I was at my lowest and things were at their worst.
My dearest Sadie,
Words can’t express how sorry I am for the pain I caused you. There is no excuse for what I did and for what I allowed you to see. Nothing I can say will erase what I did, but I wish I could go back and never make that mistake.
There are parts of me that reside in the darkest pits of hell, and those are the parts I tried to keep from you. I allowed my selfish actions to drag you down with me and you saw a part of me I never wanted you to witness. You deserve someone so much better than me, but I can’t find it in my heart to let you go.
I’m leaving so that I can confront the demons that whisper in my ear, telling me you’re better off without me. I have no way of knowing if you can ever forgive me for the pain I caused you, but I hope that someday, you allow me the chance to show you how far I would go to love and protect you.
You are my shining star in the darkness, guiding me into the light and reminding me that there is still goodness in the world.
Please know that my actions were in no way a result of what you lived through, and it rips a piece of me apart knowing I put any doubt into your mind about how much I truly love you. I know I haven’t shown you the best of me, but I promise, if you find a way to forgive me, I will show you all of me. The dark, the light, the good, and the bad.
I will lay my life down for you and hope that one day, I can walk in the glow of your warmth.
Until I see you again,
All my love,
Kade
I swiped at the tears falling onto my lap as his words resonated in my soul. Today, he proved the depths of his love for me by destroying the last fragment of my pain. Knowing, once and for all, the men who took from me were dead filled me with a comfort I wasn’t expecting.
Life was gritty and for some people, traumatic, causing you to carry scars into the future, never being able to move past the pain. That was my life, but no more. A sudden urge to see Kade and Dalton filled me, and as I drove home, I was overcome with a peace I’d never experienced before. There was someone out there who would always be there for me, and not everyone had that.
Jacob had a sleepover night with one of his classmates, and when I pulled into the driveway, I was happy to see Kade’s and Dalton’s bikes parked next to the house. I got out of the car and briskly walked into the house, unsure of what I would find. Both men sat at the dining room table with wet hair and fresh clothes on, and from the look in their eyes, I wasn’t sure if the nightmare was over or if it had just begun.
