Page 78 of The Warrior Priest
“How can you be so nonchalant? Rhys, they could have inflicted more damage to your back, not to mention what affect the experience could have on your sense of self after being punished like that in front of your men.”
He smiled wryly. “Some would say I need to be brought down a peg or two.”
“Don’t make light of this!” I felt tears rushing to my eyes, but I couldn’t stop them. “Seeing you like that…it was sickening.”
“There’s a reason it wasn’t meant for public viewing.”
“Is that your way of telling me I shouldn’t have snuck into the tower to watch?” I buried my face in my hands for a moment before confronting him again. “I snuck in because I was worried. I sensed something was wrong when I saw the high priest. You can try to tell me I shouldn’t have worried, but it will do no good. I will always worry about you, Rhys, even after I leave Tilting.” I went to thump his arm because I wouldn’t allow myself to hold him.
He caught my fist and enclosed it in both of his hands. “As I will always worry about you, Jac. It seems there’s nothing that can be done about it. We’ll always feel this way. So we must acknowledge it.” He lightly kissed my knuckles. “Then we move on.” He released me and turned away. One hand on the mantelpiece, he drew in a measured breath as he stared into the empty fireplace. “I don’t regret going along with the high priest’s scheme in the temple yard. It was necessary to regain the respect I’d lost. The vote that followed was needed to reconfirm my position as leader. Don’t tell Andreas, Vizah and Rufus. They won’t like that I willingly played my part. Especially now, in light of the high priest’s actions against you. By hiring Giselle, he has proved himself unworthy.”
I wiped my damp cheeks and pressed a hand to my rapidly beating heart. “The doubters don’t deserve you if it was necessary for you to go to such lengths to prove your honor and loyalty. Anyone who knows you knows you’re dedicated to the order, that you love your brothers and your life there.”
The hand on the mantel closed into a fist. He thumped it then turned around. He looked much like the first time I’d seen him upon my return to Tilting, as if he hadn’t slept in days. “Jac, the order is not my only love, but it demands that it is.”
The muscles in my jaw ached as I tried to hold back my tears.
“But this is bigger than me,” Rhys went on. “Merdu’s Guards needs stability now more than ever, and a master they can all rally behind if we’re to oust the high priest from his position. Someone willing to go to great lengths to ensure justice is served.”
I huffed a laugh. “How ironic that the high priest’s failure to get rid of me is the very thing that reaffirms your reason to stay on as master.”
“Please don’t make this any harder than it is already,” he whispered.
I bit my lower lip and turned away. I drew in a fortifying breath and slowly released it. It gave me time to consider how to proceed. I turned back to face him again. “I’m coming to the high temple with you to confront him.”
“No, you’re not.” He rested a hand on the hilt of his sword. “Your presence might provoke him to finish the job that Giselle couldn’t. I can’t risk that.”
“Why not confront him publicly? It’s the best way to force him to resign, and he won’t attack either of us in public.” When he didn’t answer, I forged on. “He doesn’t deserve the dignity you’re affording him.”
Rhys went to push past me to the door but stopped. “When this is over, I’ll make sure the governor is brought to justice, too.”
“How?”
His gaze searched my face, as if taking in my features all over again. “Whatever happens, stay here. Giselle will be looking for you.”
“But Rhys?—”
“No, Jac. Nothing you say will stop me, so let’s not part in anger.” He removed his glove and caressed my jawline with his thumb . He smiled sadly. “I’ll see that your pendant is returned to you, but we won’t be seeing one another again.”
I watched him go with an ache in my chest so fierce that I felt like I was suffocating. I collapsed onto the pallet and drew up my knees. I hugged them and cried for Hailia knew how long. The last time I left Tilting having not said goodbye to Rhys in person had hung over me like a cloud, and a part of me had known I’d return to right that wrong.
But this time he had said goodbye. This time he’d made it clear we wouldn’t be seeing one another again. He’d made his choice to stay in the order, and I couldn’t sway him from that path.
I wasn’t enough.
When my body ran dry of tears, I lay down and stared up at the ceiling. As much as I didn’t want to go over our final conversation in my head, I couldn’t set it aside yet. I replayed every word in my head, recalled every crease of his brow, and felt intense pain in my heart all over again.
Then I suddenly sat up.
This is bigger than me, Rhys had claimed. It was something people said when they sacrificed themselves for a greater good. I’d thought Rhys meant he was sacrificing himself by staying leader of Merdu’s Guards when he didn’t want to. Taken on its own, his words gave me no reason to think otherwise.
But when added to his lack of a response when I suggested he confront the high priest publicly, and when he hadn’t answered my question about how he planned to bring my uncle to justice, it might have meant something else altogether.
Perhaps he wasn’t going to force either man to resign or have them arrested. Perhaps he was going to kill them.
And he didn’t expect to get away with it. Knowing Rhys, he intended to turn himself in afterward—if he lived.
Chapter16
