Page 69 of Snow, Ice, and Spice
My brain takes an extra second to process it all. It’s hard for me to reconcilethisTheo with the cocky, obnoxious Theo who would work me up for no reason…with the ladies’ man hockey pro who has a reputation for bedding a new woman every night and partying until the wee hours of the morning.
He’s not that guy anymore. You see how he’s changed this past month. You’re living with him
Despite that fact, doubt lingers. Yeah, I’ve seen a different side of Theo this past month…but that’s only a month compared to an entire lifetime of living like a playboy pro athlete. Which one is the real Theo?
The sounds of pots and pans echo from downstairs. I shove the thought from my mind. I shouldn’t be trying to dissect his character. Right now he’s making me breakfast in the middle of the night while I rest in bed.
My chest aches at the sweetness of the gesture. And when he appears in the loft ten minutes later with a plate of waffles, I’m grinning so wide my cheeks are aching.
“Breakfast in bed,” he announces. I sit up and he sets the tray gently on my lap. “All I could find were some penis-shaped waffles in the freezer. Hope that’s okay.”
I smile so wide my cheeks ache. I kiss him. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”
When he settles next to me, he hands me a giant bottle of water.
“You need to hydrate,” he says.
I chuckle before drinking some. “Is this you in coach mode? ‘Remember to eat. Always hydrate.’“
I expect a joking answer, but then I notice his gaze on me turns watchful. He tucks a chunk of my hair behind my ear. “I can’t help it. I like taking care of you. In and out of bed.”
Thank goodness I’m sitting. Otherwise, I’d have collapsed onto the floor and melted into a puddle of goo because that’s the sweetest, most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me.
But immediately after that comes a jolt of something unfamiliar. It lands at the center of my chest. I don’t know what exactly it is, but it has me feeling the slightest bit panicked.
This is what couples do—thoughtful gestures like breakfast in bed, sweet kisses, incredible sex…
But I’m not interested in being a couple.
I think about my parents’ marriage, how it ended in divorce, how I don’t have any memories of my mom and dad happily together. All I remember is the two of them arguing and my dad being gone all the time for work.
And then I remember rummaging through a bunch of old boxes in our basement as a teenager and stumbling upon my parents’ wedding album. I remember studying every photo, in awe of how happy and in love they looked. That was the only time I ever saw them like that. I remember the punch in my stomach when I realized that this album was proof that they used to be happy…but then it all went wrong. My dad became a workaholic and left my mom home with us to raise on her own. That’s when the resentment and the pain set in…
I remember that tinge of sadness in my mom’s eyes that I saw so many times growing up. Even though she tried to act happy in front of my brothers and me, I could tell she was sad and lonely. I could tell it hurt her that my dad wasn’t around to help her raise us.
I swore right then and there I wouldn’t let myself go down that same path. I was never going to get married and legally bind myself to someone who would abandon me and hurt me in the worst way.
I refocus on this moment with Theo, how good it feels to be with him right now, when everything is exciting and sexy and not at all serious.
I’m not the slightest bit interested in turning something fun, like whatever this is with Theo, into something that will turn sad and bitter and heartbreaking.
I eat the yummy breakfast he’s cooked for me and let my thoughts unfold in the quiet.
Theo’s history makes me think that he’s not interested in anything serious either…but I don’t want him to get the wrong idea about me and what I can handle.
When I set my fork down, he swipes it and takes a few bites of waffle. For a second, I soak in the moment, the two of us in bed, totally naked, sharing a meal. This moment screams “couple.”
I down some water and then clear my throat.
“We should, um, talk.” I hate how squeaky my voice sounds.
To my surprise, Theo looks more amused than worried at my tone.
He sets down the fork, finishes chewing, and then swallows. “Let’s do it.”
“I didn’t expect things to go this way between us,” I say.
“Neither did I,” he says without missing a beat. I take in that playful look in his eye, how he looks like he’s trying not to smile. “Pretty fun turn of events though, right?”
