Page 119 of A World Without You
You. Him.
He flashes me a smile I can feel in my heart.
“Why is this happening?” I ask against the cotton of his shirt.
He pulls me tighter then cradles my head against his chest and whispers, “Because you’re crazy.”
“Shut up,” I say, resting my head on his chest. “Seriously, why is this happening?”
“Why does everything have to have a reason,” he counters.
“Because...” I start, then stop, thinking.
“Because why?” he presses.
“I was thinking,” I bite back, and he smirks while I take a breath. “Because there has to be meaning. Because the Universe has to be telling me something.”
“Well, according to you, you live in two worlds, so maybe you just need to pick one.” He says it so nonchalantly, tilting his head back enough that I see the dip under his jaw as he swallows.
“Say that again,” I demand softly.
Bennett shrugs. “You keep thinking about this other world where you have this different life because you didn’t choose it then. So choose it now. If you really want that life, go after it.”
“Yeah, but that life doesn’t want me. And honestly, that life isn’t the one I want either.” The words tumble out with a laugh, but when I meet Bennett’s eyes, I see so much more. The family. The house. The career. The life I dreamed of getting and never found when I ran away to Roslyn.
“What do you want?”
I stare at him, tears in my eyes.
“If Santa could bring you anything in the world for Christmas, what would it be?”
I swallow, pretending I’m thinking but I know. I realized it weeks ago but couldn’t place it until now.
“You, Bennett. I’d ask for you.”
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AFEW HOURS AND A COUPLEof stacks of pancakes later—mine were gluten-free and made with my special pan—we’re heading back over to my parents’ house for Christmas Eve dinner with Josie.
“I don’t want to say anything yet,” I whisper, thinking we’re out of earshot from Josie and hoping Mariah Carey is drowning out our voices.
He smiles at me. The kind of smile that reaches my heart. “Our parents are going to flip out.”
I laugh. “Can’t wait.”
“Can’t wait for what?” Josie asks from the back seat.
“Nothing,” we answer simultaneously with deep smiles and locked eyes.
“You two love each other, huh?” she squeaks.
We don’t object. We just smile at each other and unlace our hands from over the console. I stare at him, realizing the one I’ve always needed happened to be the one in front of me the whole time.
We drive into Christmas Eve as a unit that always was but never should have been—bent with forgiveness and pulsing with happenstance.
“Will I get a baby brother?” Josie squeaks from the back, and Bennett and I both lock wide eyes with each other.
He squeezes his hand tightly around mine. “Okay, Susan Walker.”
