Page 106 of Goodbye Again
“Moving in. Picking up Grayson after school in an hour and ordering pizza and watching Marvel movies for our first night as a...” I hesitate and overcorrect, “together.”
Donavan bites his lip and smiles, soft and sweet. “You can say it.”
“Say what?”
“I know what you were going to say.”
Of course he does. It’s obvious, but I still feel panicky saying it out loud. “Fine, Donavan. What was I going to say?”
“Family.”
I smile.
“Our first night as a family.” He swipes his thumb over my lip and dips his fingertips in my hair before he kisses me.
I lick his kiss off my lips when he pulls back. “Saying family felt presumptuous.”
“Stop.” He kisses me again. “You’re my world. Family is a given.”
“Ma’am, is there anywhere in particular you want this one?” one of the movers asks, handing me an unlabeled shoe box.
I eye it curiously and take it from him. “I’m not sure what it is,” I remark, opening the lid.
Inside, I find a washed, but old, iced coffee cup, the tags from a cashmere sweater and a coat from Nordstroms, three Cubs ticket stubs from last summer, and a Polaroid picture of Donavan and me next to Lake Michigan when he asked me to be official. A smile warms in my chest. “I can take care of this,” I say, turning around and nearly running into Donavan on bended knee, holding a blue Tiffany’s box with a giant sparkly diamond ring on plush black velvet.
“Oh my God,” I breathe.
Donavan’s deep brown eyes twinkle in the light of the kitchen.
“Spilling iced coffee down your back in the dead of winter is the best thing I have ever done,” he says, and tears spring to my eyes. “I love you, Julia. Let’s do life together. Marry me.”
I throw my arms around him, knocking him over and we land on the kitchen floor with a thud and a burst of laughter.
I apologize, but he kisses me deeply. We ignore the movers as they shift the concrete coffee table back on my wine-stained rug and prop the leather couch and two wingback chairs along the edges.
“I’d love to do life with you,” I say. Final answer.
thirty-one
“I TOLD YOU THEY’REbeing super private about everything, Julia,” Emily huffs on the other line. “And I can’t even visit because Alyson and Anjali bring home a new virus every other week from daycare and I feel like I’m a terrible friend and... Why do you care so much anyway?”
Swallowing my spit feels like swallowing nails, but I do it anyway. “Because when I talked to you last week, you said things didn’t seem to be going well.”
Emily pauses, contemplating how to respond. I get it. This continues to feel out of the blue. She doesn’t get why I keepnonchalantlybringing up JP and his wife, even though we agreed to not speak of them anymore. “You have to let him go, Julia. Or... something. I don’t know. You aren’t like this with anyone. Not even Donavan. Or Steven. God, remember him?”
How could I forget that awful human?
I struggle to downplay my feelings while remaining honest and genuine. “I’m just worried is all. I like them both.”
Emily audibly whimpers over the line. “She’s been given six months.”
It doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t sound right. My mouth goes dry and my mind blanks—only the image of Audrey and JP laughing and dancing on New Year’s remains.
“Please give me his number.” I no longer care about being direct.
“God, you two really did bond,” Emily says as I hear Anjali say, “Mama, miiilllllk” in the background. “Yes, Anji, hold on.”
I crack my knuckles as I pace in the living room I now share with Donavan. My phone pings and I see Emily has sent me his new contact info.
