Page 39 of The Rest is History
‘Let’s think about some other scenarios for reverse harem. A woman working in a men’s prison.’ I tick it off on my fingers. ‘Or… on a ranch. Or coaching a men’s football team. Get the picture?’
They nod. They’re still looking at me like I’m insane, but it’s better than their previous stupor. I pace in front of them and pretend to think.
‘What about… a queen? Married to one of the most powerful rulers in the world? She’s waited six years to marry him, she’s played the game absolutely perfectly up until now, but now she has a whole court full of guys, so she thinkswhy not get stuck in?’
I stop.
I really have their attention now.
‘Nah.’ An obnoxiously good-looking kid near the back stretches out his long legs and leans back in his chair, a hand raking through his floppy golden hair.
I pounce. ‘Because…’
‘Because Anne Boleyn was many things, but she wasn’t stupid.’
I move between the desks, drawing closer.
‘What was she, then?’
He thinks. ‘She was… sophisticated. Ahead of her time. She thought for herself. And… very calculating.’
‘Good,’ I tell him. ‘And are you usingcalculatingin a negative way? Some people consider it a dirty word, especially when it comes to women.’
The girl next to him, who’s been staring at him adoringly, interjects. ‘It’s not a dirty word, but it suits her. She played a longgame. She knew exactly what she wanted—she was strategic. Nothing she did was by accident.’
‘Excellent. Name?’
‘Tallulah.’
Of course it is.
‘Well, Tallulah. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head. I always think so much of Anne’s journey was about delayed gratification. Years and years of holding Henry off from sleeping with her while still keeping him interested. Managing him. Learning him. I’ve always thought it must have been exhausting.
‘And when she was queen, she was so busy. Working endlessly on decking out Hampton Court for her and Henry. Promoting religious reform. Acting as a patroness for hundreds of people at court and beyond. Travelling extensively. So at what point do you think she thought,I have a stable of guys here at court; I’ll just work my way through them?’
‘But she might have been jealous,’ someone else says. ‘Because Henry was shacking up with Jane Seymour by then. I think Anne would have been pissed off.’
I turn in the direction of the voice. ‘I agree. That’s a great point. With the exception of Henry’s grandfather, Anne and Henry were the first love match since William the Conqueror. Royal marriages were supposed to be political alliances. Henry’s fidelity to Anne, before and during their marriage, was completely unprecedented. She was supposed to look the other way when he took a mistress, but she didn’t, because Jane Seymour undermined everything Anne’s marriage had stood for.’
I change tack.
‘Now, let’s play devil’s advocate for a minute. If we know that Anne was a skilled stateswoman and a strategic thinker, can anyone suggest why she would have had affairs for strategic reasons?’
There’s a pause.
‘To make Henry jealous?’ someone pipes up.
‘Very possibly. What a dangerous game to play, but Anne could have been trying to remind him that she was still desirable. But I’m thinking of another, more tangible, objective. What did Anne want more than anything else—what would have shown Henry beyond a shadow of a doubt that Anne was the right wife for him and that God approved of his marriage?’
Martha gasps. ‘A son.’
I jab a finger at her. ‘Exactly. A son. And Henry’s problems in bed have been much debated. Given he had six wives and a handful of mistresses, he had remarkably few children. So…’
‘So she might have slept around to try to get pregnant,’ blondie says.
‘She might have. And that’s where a lot of the more spurious rumours came in, especially the grim ones around her miscarrying her brother’s child’s deformed foetus. But there’s no evidence at all that this ever happened. So, speaking of the evidence, let’s go back to it. What was the biggest problem with the trial of Anne and George, and also that of her other alleged lovers a few days previously?’
‘There was no proper evidence,’ Tallulah said quietly.
