Page 110 of Slow Heat

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“Instinct and practice,” Jason whispered, lifting up to give him a proud grin. “You liked it?”

Vale snorted and rolled his eyes.

Jason laughed. “I’m good, huh?”

Vale groaned and struggled to shove Jason over so that he could breathe a little easier. “I don’t have to tell you that.”

Jason slipped his fingers into Vale’s still twitching ass. “No, you don’t. Because I felt it.”

Vale groaned. “You’ve exhausted me. I’m finished.”

But he wasn’t. There was a burning itch in his skin. A familiar one that meant heat was on its way. If he was lucky, he still had a few days. And then…

He kissed Jason’s shoulder and snuggled in to rest his head against it. He let his finger run over the golden hair growing sparsely on Jason’s chest. Vale closed his eyes, enjoying the rise and fall of Jason’s chest and the scent of his sweat and their come.

As Jason’s breath evened out, Vale’s mind gradually cleared, and as it did, a cold dread crept over him, chilling him despite Jason’s warmth and the prickling, oncoming heat. What had he done? What had theydone?

Vale swallowed convulsively as his heart rate kicked up. They’d consummated the imprint. They’d violated the last protocol, and Jason would assume this meant they would contract tomorrow. Vale’s gut wrenched.

But there was no way he could contract with Jason without telling him the truth about his past. Not after being with him this way. Not after sharing their bodies so fully, seeing the sweetness at Jason’s core, tasting it, riding it to climax again and again. Not after what they’d done. It felt wrong to withhold the truth of himself from hisÉrosgápe.

Until this moment, he’d never fully believed it was possible that he and Jason would contract. He’d assumed that Jason would eventually take a surrogate at his parents’ insistence. And when Vale had allowed himself to indulge in hope, he’d always pictured a future where Jason never knew the worst of Vale’s history, where the blame for their infertility was never fully placed on his shoulders.

But now? How could he ever contract and enter a lasting bond with Jason if he was never honest with him? How could he take the future of this young man and wad it up in the trash with his own dreams of a family life?

He forced himself to realistically imagine Jason’s reaction to a full confession. Jason’s beautiful lips would twist in a snarl of repulsion and the blue of his eyes would go dead and cold. Vale’s heart ached and his throat hurt as he clutched Jason’s sleeping body and swallowed back tears. HewantedJason, wanted to contract with him, but he couldn’t fool himself. Once Jason knew the truth, there was no way such a romantic, sweet alpha would stay.

And if he did stay, how long would it be until he started longing for a child? Once Jason’s age mates met their omegas and started reproducing, the reality of what he’d given up for Vale, and how little Vale deserved that grace, would be apparent to him. He’d start to loathe Vale then and resent their bond.

No. It was time he was honest with himself. He should save some dignity and end the negotiations on his terms. Tell Jason’s parents that he refused to contract because he knew deep down Jason deserved children. That would be sufficient for them and held the benefit of being true.

But Vale wasn’t a fool. He knew he’d have to come clean with Jason altogether. The young man he’d come to know wouldn’t let him go for any reason other than the pitiless truth. If Jason chose to tell Vale’s secret to his parents, at least Vale knew they wouldn’t turn him in. They had too many secrets of their own to keep safe.

His chest felt heavy and he stifled a groan. Why had he ever let himself entertain the idea that Jason didn’t need to know about what had happened? He should have confessed his shameful secret at the beginning, no matter how it shattered his ego for Jason to know what he’d done. It would have saved them both the pain of severing this growing bond. They’d have never made the mistake of this beautiful, gorgeous night together. He’d never have known the joy of being in Jason’s arms and therefore never would have had to fully grieve it.

He’d have to break Jason’s heart tomorrow—and his own heart as well.

He’d already lost so much: his parents, his innocence, and now his career. Did he have to lose his alpha now, too? Now that he knew how wonderful Jason truly was, and how perfectly their bodies fit together? Now that he’d had a real glimpse of all they could be to each other?

The prickling burn of his upcoming heat stirred beneath his skin again. He shuddered against Jason who held him closer but slept on.

There was still the problem of his heat to resolve. Jason would revoke the contract offer as soon as he knew the truth, and Vale wasn’t going to let him give his first knot to an omega who didn’t deserve his bond.

CHAPTER TWENTY

“You’re not goingto contract with him?” Yosef repeated Vale’s words back to him, staring him directly in the eye. “Have you lost your mind?”

They were alone in the back of a hired car on the way to Jason’s house to meet for what would be the final negotiations. The driver had put up the partition so they had some privacy. There was no time to spare; Vale needed Yosef to agree to do as he asked before they reached the Sabel residence.

Grief was a ringing, hollow thing. It was hard to believe relinquishing the tenuous hope he’d allowed himself to wrongly and dangerously indulge in could leave him so empty and raw.

“I’ve regained my mind,” Vale whispered.

Yosef groaned. “What happened? What changed? Up until now, you were content to let them be the ones to conclude that a surrogate would be best, and I’d thought, or hoped at any rate, that you were willing to contract with him if they backed off on the birth requirement. Is that not accurate?”

“It is, but things have changed.”

“What things?” Yosef’s eyebrows jumped like caterpillars.