Page 15 of The Tsar's Obsession
“No, wait, it’s not lik–”
“No. Stop with your nonsense,” Viv cut me off, her sharp words stinging. “Let yourselffeel. For the first time. That heartbreak was a long time ago, Mia; not all men are like that.” All her previous humor was gone, and she hit me with the truth like a whip. “You’re literally shaking.Fuck that other guy.That fucking sucked for you, but come on!”
Viv was like this—she didn’t fucking care. She didn’t get hurt; she didn’t linger. Her life was about sucking all the juices out of everything that was served to her and discarding the useless part. I wasn’t like that. I was fragile. Sometimes like a crystal, sometimes like a bomb. “He did a bad thing; he was a bad man!” She spoke emphatically. “You’ve walked away from countless good men because of him.”
Bitter tears prickled at my eyes, but I smiled through it, like always. My last breakup destroyed me. I was in love, but it wasn’t the loss of love; it was the betrayal. It was the stab in the heart. The no-fuck zone was foolproof—never let another man make you feel anything—until suddenly it all went to shit.
“Fuck.” I shook my head, conceding that I was sinking deepinto Kirill. “His name is Kirill, and I’ve only ever seen him like three times in my life, but there’s something…something that is there between us.” I chewed my lip, not sure how to express myself. “This thing, this energy. I can’t explain it. I haven’t felt like that before.” I looked at anything but Viv while she listened quietly. “It’s all unusual. The way he appeared in my life…the way he speaks and looks at me. The way he makes me feel. It’s like I woke up from a coma.”
“Fuck, I hope that pussy wakes up from the coma too, man.” Viv was back to her regular self, putting a small smile on my face. “Be honest, when was the last time you had sex?”
I paused, trying to work myself up to tell her the truth. “Two years,” I admitted reluctantly.
“Wow.” Viv leaned back in her chair and shook her head. “Twoyears?! You’re in your twenties! This should be the time when you have all the sex!”
“I didn’t want to.” I shrugged, emotionally drained and exhausted from this conversation and from everything that was going on inside me. “I didn’t want to sleep with anyone. Until now.”
“Well, shit, he better have a magic dick to break the spell,” she chuckled and threw her long hair back. “To bring you back to life. What’s so special about him?”
Everything, damn. Those eyes, his confidence, how he looked at me, how he smelled—the list went on and on.
We both waxed poetic about love to each other as the summer evening transformed into the dark night, our wine glasses draining once more. It was getting late, and our laughter still filled up the now half-empty restaurant.
Viv reached for my phone, sliding it across the table, and my heart jumped out of my chest. She’d done this before, but we were in university! There was too much at stake now; Kirill was an actual client!
“Donot!” I shot out an immediate warning.
“I’m not going to do anything stupid or mean,” she reassuredme, but it sounded like she slurred her words. “You’re not marrying the guy, ease up. Just play.” She unlocked my phone and scrolled through my messages, opening up the conversation that I had reread one too many times.
“Just play?” I double-checked, warming up to the idea, the alcohol slithering through all of me.
“Just play.”
7
111:30
Kirill
Myphonebuzzedonmy desk, pulling me away from the spreadsheets in front of me. These numbers were not what I wanted to see. I reached for it, half engaged and already annoyed at such a late text, but then–
Mia:K?
As if electrocuted, I sat up straighter, my fingers tightening around my phone. My eyes flicked to the clock. 11:30PM.
Mia: I never got a chance to ask you. Where ddid you get my ##?
Before I indulged in her text, I was already calling Yuri. “Where is she?” I shot out with urgency, not letting him utter a greeting.
Yuri shuffled something in the background. “Sixth and Houston. She’s out with a friend.”
Sixth and Houston was all the way across town. “Meet me there.” I hung up on Yuri and texted her back, my teeth grindingnervously.
Kirill: Shouldn’t you be home, in pajamas and in bed?
It took me a wholefive minutesto send that text. Five minutes of typing, deleting, retyping. Every time Mia was involved, I turned into a fucking idiot.
Mia: Oh, I’m sorry sir, am I out past my curfew?
