Page 31 of The Tsar's Obsession
"Girl. Carpe fucking diem. Whatever the hell is going on between you and yourclient"—Viv used air quotes—"is fucking obvious to the entire room. Just fuck already."
My face burned a burgundy color, I was sure of it, but I deflected again. "What? You're crazy. There's nothing going on."
"And we're excited for the next stage of our partnership. Thank you." Kirill finished the speech and stepped off stage.
"Okay, bitch. Keep lying to yourself, but don't lie to me!" she whisper-yelled while another speaker stepped up to the little podium. "He only has eyes for you. The way he ran after you—he doesn't even care who knows."
I refused to admit how her words affected me. Like this was the only thing I wanted to hear. Like this was a message from God. Like I was slowly being dipped in honey. Like my heart was being mended with sticky marshmallows, all its scars and scrapes filled up with sugar and sweetness.
"I'm almost thirty, Viv. I'm not getting involved with a man who seems to be a walking embodiment of sin. All kinds of sin."The scared and logical side of my brain kept fighting, "I'll admit the allure is there, but...I have to chill. I can't be doing this."
I looked for all the evidence to the contrary of what was happening inside my heart.
"Just one night. Just give himone fucking night, Mia. You won't die. But he looks like he might." I turned back to Viv, but there was no humor on her face. No joke, no hyperbole, she was dead serious. "Just one night." She raised one finger and then straightened out, her green dress sparkling in the lights bouncing off the stage.
With a knowing glance, she quickly turned and receded, leaving me to my own thoughts and Polina’s death stare.
Every single interaction at this event was somehow altering my brain chemistry. A blazing fire of jealousy erupted inside me every time I caught sight of Polina. She was undoubtedly a beautiful and strong woman. Her skin so soft and glowing, her eyes seductive, and her tongue sharp. What was he doing with her around?Whywasshe around?
After she was sure I caught her staring, she grabbed her glass and moved a few empty seats toward me. "I love your dress!" she gushed and served me a look of false appreciation that was hard to ignore.
Having no desire to engage in her antics, I remained polite and finally got a good look at hers. A tiny, shimmery number with a deep plunge line, the hem of her dress barely covering the essentials. Her long legs were accentuated by sparkly heels, and a black spade tattoo was prominently visible on the inside of her wrist. She also had another tattoo close to her shoulder—a spider crawling up her arm.
"Thank you. Yours is beautiful too." I half-engaged even though the dress was an abomination, and I was pretty sure she knew that as well by the way she shrugged it off.
"Meh. Just something new to wear. No one here pays attention." Her thick Russian accent somehow perfectly matched her overall vibe. "Russian men compliment you; they pay attention,so it's easy to look good and dress well. Here? No inspiration." She waved at the room and threw a glance behind me.
We’d never said more than a hello to each other, and this sudden girl talk sent my intuition into turmoil. Polina kept her eyes on me but took a large sip of her drink. "Has Kirill complimented you, Mia? He enjoys all the fine things."
Within a second, the conversation felt uncomfortable and borderline threatening. I managed a fake chuckle. "He does enjoy all the fine things, you’re right. He bought a beautiful apartment." My little smile stayed placid as I grabbed my own glass of wine, hoping to hide my discomfort.
"You know men like him, though." Polina leaned in closer, swirling her drink lazily as if savoring some private joke. Her gaze flicked briefly behind me before settling back on my eyes. "They get bored easily. With all their new toys. They always need more. New. Hotter.Foreign." And at this, I finally clued into her unexpected interest in me.
"Do they? I don't know men like him. Tell me," I encouraged, precariously close to scratching her eyes out. Polina's smile only grew, and she focused her attention on someone by the stage, right behind my shoulder. I felt it; his gaze on me. It was like a million needles slowly penetrating my skin.
As discreetly as I could, I turned back, and my eyes met those green ones, intently watching our interaction while someone else was speaking to him.
"Powerful. Demanding. In control.Deceiving." Polina's commentary filled up my ears, but every other sense was tuned in to those green eyes, eating me alive, landing on every part of my body. "Men like him, Mia… they don’t keep things. They play you. Promise you the world. Fuck you like a slut and give you everything you want. And then, they rip your heart open."
All her words were burying themselves in my mind, both slapping the rose-colored glasses off my nose and giving me the courage to do what I so wanted. Was Polina lying? Was she tellingthe truth? I couldn’t think straight, but Viv’s words rushed into my head.
Just one night.
Just one time. I just needed to get it out of my system. I ripped my eyes away from his and gave Polina my full attention. "Why are you telling me this?"
That condescending laugh made its way out of her again. "Just girl talk. Nothing more." She looked right past me and added her last words in a lower voice. "The devil doesn't always have horns and a pitchfork, Mia. Sometimes he has green eyes and looks just like what you've always wanted."
With this last message, her expression visibly changed, and she spoke theatrically to someone behind me. "I'm not, I'm not hogging your girl! She's all yours."
All his.Just one night.
"Come with me." That deep voice ordered, and my hand was already in his, burning with the touch of his skin. “What nonsense was she spewing in your ear?” Kirill gently twirled me around the empty dance floor while the presenters were giving their speeches. But he didn’t care that there was no music and we were the only ones out of our seats. He just did what he wanted.
Fuck you like a slut and give you everything you want.
The taste of bitter disappointment and deep jealousy settled on my tongue. Suddenly, Polina’s words had immense weight, and my chest felt like it was about to cave in. Did he do all that to her? Promise her the world and then break her heart? And still kept her around?
“She…” I trailed off, unable to fully formulate the sentence, choked by the realization that I was completely lost and thoroughly confused. I wandered into the dark woods, unable to find my way back or any sunlight, just stuck, going back and forth in my thoughts and feelings.
