Page 57 of The Tsar's Obsession
She loved me.
She pressed her lips together, her face turning tomato red, but it was already too late. She’d said the word. I waited to catch my own heartbeat, to breathe in enough air to understand.
“You love me?” I exhaled, the words barely leaving my lips as my heart battered my insides. My fingers tilted her chin, forcing her tear-filled eyes to meet mine. She tried to look away, but I held her there, locking her in a gaze so intense, so consuming, there was nowhere for her to escape. The silence stretched until finally,finally, she whispered,
“Yes.”
Her voice was quiet but sure, and all the world disappeared. Now I had everything I’d ever wanted; she made me complete.
If I lived to be an old man, this would be the moment I’d clingto, the one memory I’d keep polished in my mind, untouched by time. Because nothing could ever top this. Nothing could ever match the way all of me burned for her, for her love.
“I love you.”
The confession left me effortlessly, though I had never pronounced those words before. But there was a reason for that—those words belonged only to her. “You must know that, Sunshine. You must have already guessed how obsessed and consumed I am by you. How I’ve spent nine years dreaming of you, waiting for the day I’d see you.”
I pulled her closer, my lips brushing her ear as my voice shook, the sweet moment giving me the biggest high I’d ever experienced. “You must know that all of me—my heart, my soul, my fucking life…is yours. That I would do anything for you. Anything, Mia. Just point your finger, baby.”
I kissed away her tears. I held her cheeks in my hands, my diamond, my treasure, and I knew that I would always take away her fears and doubt and absorb them all. “I spent every waking moment thinking about you, my love. You were in my dreams…every night. I only saw you; I only wanted you, Mia. Your kiss helped me survive through pain and suffering and near death.”
“This– this seems crazy.” Mia’s tears intensified, and I pressed her to me, making sure she heard every word.
“It’s not crazy, Sunshine. It’s exactly what was meant to be.” I cupped her cheeks and lowered my voice. “There’s not a world that exists where you aren’t the love of my life, baby. Where you don’t reign over my heart. Even dead, I will love you on the other side too.”
Had I ever been this vulnerable? Never.
Had I ever been this obsessed? No.
Had I ever been this blissfully happy? Yes, that one time I tasted her lips a decade ago. And now, the bliss was mine, right in front of me.
But I had also never been this frightened. The risk of her being hurt or taken away from me sent real waves of panic through me. “I’m so sorry my love puts you in danger, but–”
The softtouch of her fingertips on my lips halted my thoughts. She shook her head. “You don’t need to apologize.” She sniffled and asked so timidly, “Why did you wait nine years? If you– if you wanted this so much?”
Her legs wrapped around my waist, and my hands pressed against the warm curve of her back. “Because I had to get to where I am now to come for you,” I murmured. “I wasn’t going to kidnap you and drag you to Russia,” I chuckled, and through her tears, she laughed too. “I had two choices. Die in the streets or rule it all. And if I wanted you, there was only ever one real option.”
The weight of my words settled between us, and in that tender moment, a thought popped into my head. “Did you ever think about me?”
A small smile appeared on her face. “Yes,” she admitted with a confident nod. “But…probably not as much as it seems you’ve thought about me.”
Her smile. It was the same as the first time I saw her—joy, real, genuine happiness poured out of her.
“After that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” she continued, her voice soothing. “I wanted that kiss so badly. And when you approached me, I…I couldn’t stop myself.” Her soft lips said the words that filled all of me up with joy. “You looked so…rough.” She hesitated, searching for the right words. “Such a bad boy. But your eyes…u tebya ochen krasivie glaza,” she whispered in Russian. The exact words she had said that night. She hadn’t forgotten.
“But then time passed.” She shrugged, as if trying to justify herself. “And I guess I began to forget. It felt like this fun and flirty thing I did, not something that would change my life forever.” Her smile faded. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” I responded easily. There was nothing to apologize for.
Grasping her hand, I placed it on my chest and dragged her finger to a tattoo on my solar plexus. “You didn’t ask about this tattoo.” Her touch lingered over the letter M, adate right beneath it. “That’s the day I met you. The day my life changed. I never wanted to forget,” I teased, my voice low. “Maybe we can get you one too, with my name? Like on your butt or boob or something.” I shrugged and tilted my head as if considering this idea.
Her burst of laughter was a heavenly sound. Bright, effortless,mine.
With a dangerous grin, she lifted the hem of my shirt that she was wearing and revealed her naked butt cheek. “Which side do you like better?” she joked confidently. We picked a side, and I sealed the choice with a hot kiss right on the spot we thought would work best.
Jesus. Every second with her was a gift, pure, filled with love and light. I wanted to bottle it all up, trap this moment. The night continued to the sound of her soft laughter, her sweet kisses, and whispered words. It was the kind of love I thought I’d never have.
I postponed the visit to Manuel, opting to live in careless bliss for one more week. Mia and I simply lived together. I cooked, and she read me the recipe. She joined me for early morning swims—her yawns and grumbling turning into joyous laughter at the end. Late at night, we danced in the living room, our bodies pressed against each other.
We talked. We talked abouteverything. Our pasts, our favorite books and movies, our friends, that fateful night, and our principles and views on life.
