Page 61 of The Tsar's Obsession
This was terrifying. Watching him struggle, in pain, bleeding, and at a disadvantage.Lovewas terrifying.
Kirill collapsed onto his knees in the living room before leaning onto his bloody hands and then falling onto his back. I shouldn’t have looked. Blood made me squeamish and weak. I hated the sight of it. But I had quickly lost all my dislike of blood. My man,my boyfriend,was bleeding out onto the floor!
I grabbed at his shirt and pulled it apart with renewed strength, zeroing in on the injury. The stab wound was deep, raw, and angry.
The stab wound. There was a hole in his body.
This was okay; I talked myself down. This wasn’t terminal. This was just a deep cut, not a gunshot to the heart.
Yuri paced beside us, urgently speaking with someone on the phone. My gaze wandered over Kirill’s body, and my vision blurred. Was this what my life would be like now? Watching the man I love potentially die in front of me?
I didn’t want this. I just wanted him, notthis!
A bloody hand grabbed onto mine, interrupting my thoughts, and Kirill pulled me in. “I’m okay. Don’t worry, alright?” he gritted out. I nodded, blinking away tears. “It’s just an injury; it’s just painful.” His face was drained of all color, and his eyes fluttered closed.
Without hesitation, I leaned in and brushed my lips on his forehead, the only form of comfort I could give him. His whisper was so apologetic, "I'm so sorry, Mia. I'm so sorry this happened today."
“Baby, stop,” I whispered back, gulping down my tears. “I’m going to stay with you, okay? You’re going to be okay.” I nodded, assuring myself that his weak voice and limp grasp on my hand were okay. We were okay. This was okay, okay, okay, it would be okay!
A man rushed into my peripheral vision, and as if I were part of the furniture, he and Yuri ignored me, hauling Kirill up onto his feet. With a loud groan, Kirill was led away into the bedroom, leaving me on the bloody floor.
Itwas all about to spill out—my entire breakfast was ready to make its way out of me. What the fuck was I doing? I almost died, Kirill almost died. What happened to my life? I stole a boat, I dodged bullets, and I was in love with a man who was slowly dragging me into his vicious and savage lifestyle.
“Mia?” Yuri’s voice ripped me out of my thoughts. He crouched down in front of me, stretching out his hand. "Doctor need one or two hours,” his voice was calm and confident, just like always. “Kirill want see you but doctor say no, he working now. Go. Go shower and change, Kirill be okay, I stay." He talked to me like my dad, gently and authoritatively.
I stood in the shower, the hot water cascading down my back. Kirill’s blood dripped off my hands and knees and swirled down the drain, taking with it all my misconceptions about how calm and predictable life was.
The predictability used to eat me alive. Now, there was no such thing.
28
Soap Opera
Kirill
Thephysicalpainwasnothing compared to how deeply I fucked up. Mia almost died, I almost died, Yuri almost died. Everything felt like a complete fucking breakdown, and it came out of nowhere.
I couldn’t look Mia in the eyes. This wasnothow her life with me was supposed to start. She was plunged into chaos. No warning, no armor.
“Kirill, I’m not mad or disappointed in what happened. I was just really scared,” she reassured me again with her gentle voice, lying on her stomach beside me and kissing my hand.
Oh no.
Guilt overtook my whole consciousness, and at that moment, I realized that I had made a huge mistake. Being infatuated and obsessed with her for a decade was not the same as loving her in real time. This wasn’t a hypothetical anymore.
I didn’t fucking deserve her, and it took me a near-death incident to realize that. She was pure, clean, innocent, and I was unworthy in every way.
Every fucking way possible. I took her perfect, happy life and in one afternoon opened the door into the complete darkness and violence that surrounded me.Iknew how to navigate it, but shehad no clue what to do. Somehow, the weight of this responsibility hadn’t crossed my mind before, not until I got stabbed and woken up to reality.
The minute I arrived at Manuel’s estate, the countdown began. He knew that I would back down on this deal, and he was waiting for my visit.
There were more questions than answers. My security team disappeared. Where were they stopped, where were they killed, and were they involved? Yuri located ten bodies the next day.
Yuri fucked up, but so did I. God, did I fuck up. And the conversation to be had with Polina was going to be a fucking shitshow.
It was a true miracle that Manuel didn’t land a bullet in my chest the minute I crossed the threshold of his office. It was fate that I pressed the trigger first.
Alas, there was one variable I didn’t predict. As soon as I made my way out of Manuel’s office, a cold, sharp blade pierced my side, and I was met with a most hateful gaze by none other than the beautiful and neglected woman on Manuel’s knees a week ago.
