Page 88 of The Tsar's Obsession
“Mia…” His lips traveled down my neck, hungrily feasting on my inability to pull away. “Mia, come back,” he breathed me in, his voice broken, just like me. “Come back, baby. I’m so sorry! Come back home, Sunshine.” And as soon as he apologized, it all came rushing back. Ari’s image in the hospital, his chain in my hands, Kirill all splattered in blood.
“I can’t…I–” I couldn’t get the words out. “I have to go; don’t come see me again.” My hushed voice intertwined with his heavy breathing, and I collected all the strength I didn’t have to push him off, my eyes tightly squeezed shut.
“Please, open your eyes, baby.Please…just look at me.” His hands on my cheeks, I heard the pain in his whisper, but I was in self-preservation mode, and I knew that if I looked into his eyes, I would fold.
“No. I can’t look at you ever again.”
I ran back into my apartment and buried myself in my bed under mountains of blankets. For two days, I slept and took baths, seeking comfort from my own self. I was in a coma, refusing to look at my phone, to see the light of day, to eventhinkabout anything…buthim.
He made a mistake.Viv’s words boomed in my head while I submerged myself in hot water. It wasn’t a mistake—it was a colossal fuck up. We both knew that.
Time heals, Mia.But I would need an entire lifetime. I would need all the time that ever existed in the universe to get over this.
He just wanted you; he was blind to everything else.And so was I. I refused to acknowledge who he really was. I suddenly remembered the eyeballs and what he said to me that morning—any man who touches you will suffer the same fate. He was open with me—honest—but I refused to listen.
And he was too scared to tell me what really happened with Ari because he knew what it would do to our relationship. He did everything possible not to lose me.
Two weeks later, after countless hours spent mulling over all that had happened, I finally stepped foot into my office. My personal tragedy never left me, but I did my best to focus on the files on my desk when a light knock interrupted my weak efforts. Ari peeked in and askedsocourteously, “Hello. May I come in?”
Kirill put a stop to Ari’s antics, so there was no more Frank Sinatra voice, anddamn me,I preferred it this way. I nodded and approached him, enveloping him in a warm hug, guilt burning mycheeks. “Ari, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” I stepped back, my apology feeling empty and useless.
Ari huffed out a small chuckle but said nothing else, leaving us in awkward silence, just standing in front of each other. I was about to motion to a chair, but Ari started the conversation he came here for.
“That was a fucked-up thing he did, Mia, but I don’t blame you. I just want you to know.” The late spring sun illuminated Ari’s face, a scar still visible on the top of his nose. I nodded, wanting the floor to swallow me whole. “I guess he was pretty serious from the beginning, huh? Viv said he stalked you for ten years or something?”
I hated that word mostly because I loved that he did, in fact, stalk me. I loved that his dedication led to our love story. I did a crazy thing ten years ago, and he turned his life around to get what he wanted. “He didn’t stalk.” I cleared my throat. “Just, you know…kept informed.”
The small smile that tugged at my lips sent waves of bliss through me. Those were Kirill’s words.
Ari bounced on the balls of his feet and nodded. “That’s a long time,” he said, evidently not knowing how to uphold this conversation. “He must be crazy about you…to do that. Both stalk you and try to kill me,” he clarified, the awkward atmosphere only intensifying.
But he didn’t try to kill him. Because Kirill wasn’t a man whotried—he was a man who got itdone. I fidgeted with my own fingers, forbidding myself from uttering my thoughts out loud. “You still love him?” Ari blindsided me with the question, which was both invasive and stupid because the answer would always be a resoundingyes.I could never stop loving him.
“Yes. Of course. I still love him.” My words were absolute. I was angry. I was devastated. I wasbroken.But I was also sure of how I felt about Kirill.
“Then you should try to figure it out. Between you and him.” Ari spoke quietly, his tone serious like never before. “You’re a great catch, Mia. He must love you endlessly, and…you’re not well. Obviously.” He waved a hand at me, like I was physically sick instead of emotionally. “I love Carly, and I can’t imagine my life without her. I care about you. I don’t want to see you suffer. No one does.”
Goddamn Ari. No matter how annoying he always was, he was a good man. Hot tears poured down my cheeks again, the sting in my eyes familiar and pleasant now. Ari headed for the door, adding his last words and breaking me down for good. “I’m going to propose to Carly soon. Bring your plus one to the wedding; it’ll make for one hell of a toast.” He laughed easily while I held back my sobs. "He’s the one who brought us together and gave us a chance.”
Not waiting for the shock on my face to wear off, Ari gifted me a lighthearted smile and disappeared behind the door.
Alone, I sat in a meditative state, going over Ari’s words. There was no denying it—putting Ari in the hospital gave him and Carly a chance to connect. I shut that thought down quickly, forbidding myself from using it as an excuse to forgive Kirill.
My heart ached nonstop. I was miserable—allthe time. These were the most difficult days of my life. I wasn’t just going through heartbreak; I was dying inside. But I also felt something else…hope. Or maybe excitement. Maybe…maybe we could give it another chance?
I ended the day early and decided to head home, looking forward to a hot bath and an empty mind. But right as I stepped outside my building, I bumped into Jeremy, like he was waiting for me. “Hey, Mia.” His tone was so light, as if he came by my office every day.
“Jeremy? What are you doing here?” For a reason I couldn’t pinpoint, his strange appearance set me on edge.
“I heard what happened. Your dad told me.” Oh great, everyone was discussing my heartbreak behind my back. “I’m sorry. Let’s go for lunch. I have an Uber waiting.”
I thought it over for a fleeting moment and then relented, not having the energy to argue with anything. Slowly, barely noticing what I was doing, I climbedinside the large SUV and slumped down in the back seat with a heavy sigh, Jeremy climbing in right behind me.
But in a second, it all registered in my mind. This wasn’t an Uber.
“Hello, Mia.” A deep voice with a Russian accent sounded from the front seat, and I twisted my head to see Dmitry turned toward me, a repulsive smile on his face.
Ohfuck.
