Page 21 of Only Yours
She snorts, “Yes, and my friend Bea doesn’t cheat at canasta. Come sit at the counter and tell me all about it.”
The kitchen counter stool. Where secrets have been spilled to my Nani since I was five and she moved in after Dadi died.
I sit down and Nani immediately places nankhatai in front of me. I take a bite of a sweet cookie and give a moan of happiness. Damn, no one can cook like Nani.
She stirs something on the stove while I chew silently. “Spill, Reina. Because tears are not normal for my granddaughter who is so averse to emotion.”
“Maybe I’m just emotional about coming home. Or maybe I’m emotional because I know I’m going to have to face my mom in like two hours. Or because I’m going to have to face all thefreakin’ relatives that will be here tomorrow.” I sigh, thinking of how crowded this white palace will be when the entire family comes over for Diwali. I don’t know how my mother ended up being the hostess every year when she can’t stand for anyone to drop a particle of food on any of her precious furniture. She’ll be making the rounds with the stain spray and her dustbuster for the next few days for sure.
Nani swings around and shakes her wooden spoon at me. “Nonsense. You’ve always loved Diwali, if for no reason other than you like to see your ama stressed out.”
“True, very true,” I say as a sly grin crosses my face. It is nice to see my always put together mother so anxious.
“What’s the matter with you? Tell your Nani before I take away your cookies.”
I pull my plate closer and curve my arm around it. “You wouldn’t dare.”
A similar sneaky grin appears on Nani’s face. “You bet I would.”
“Shit, you really would.” I sigh. “I’ve, um, met someone.”
Nani raises an eyebrow. “Someone other than Amit?”
I nod. Nani knows that Amit and I are just friends. She doesn’t know the details, but she figured out most of it all on her own. She’s a smart cookie, and I swear she sees everything. I may be able to mislead my mother, but I could never look Nani in the eye and lie. It made it very hard for me as a teenager.
“Well, that’s good. Maybe you and he will give up this…whatever you have. It’s time for you to fall in love and for Amit to show who he really is.” She places her hand on her hips. “I wish you young ones would see that the older generation doesn’t care nearly as much as you think we do about your titles. His Nani will be very hurt when he finally opens up. And you…” she glances around for her wooden spoon to shake at me but givesup and just wags her finger at me, “you have to start risking your heart sometime.”
I don’t mention that I did risk it once and I got burned. Nani knows how hard my last year of school here was and the hell I went through, but she’s told me over and over again that every boy is not like Kyle. She reminds me often that my Nana was the best. I know they were madly in love right up until the day he died. There are still days I catch her holding his picture and crying. But it’s still hard for me to see the good in men when my own father did douchebag things, and Kyle did his very best to screw me over. I could have forgiven and forgotten what he did to me, but the way he used Amit…no, I won’t forgive or forget that, ever.
“Tell me about this boy. Is he good to you?” she asks and then turns around to stir again.
I prop my chin in my hands. “He’s very sweet, at least so far. Of course, it’s early yet so he could just be pretending.”
She harrumphs. “You could be a little more trusting, Reina.”
I shake my head. “Never Nani. That’s not in my DNA.”
“Mmm, true. Very true.” I know she’s thinking of my mother, who never lets anyone in and doesn’t take anyone at face value. I think she had all my teachers in school investigated before she would let me attend, starting in elementary school. I’m not entirely sure she hasn’t done the same with my professors at Crestwood.
I take a deep breath. I might as well share it all. In for a penny, in for a pound, right? And Nani will understand the significance of my next words. “He’s a soldier, Nani. In the Army on deployment right now.”
Her shoulders still and I’m mildly surprised that she doesn’t drop the spoon into the pot.
When she turns, her dark eyes are full of anguish and there’s a bright red hue high on her full cheeks. Her forehead wrinkleswith worry lines and her lips purse into a tight pucker like she tasted something awful, something that would never come from her kitchen.
She takes a moment to compose herself before she finally speaks. “A soldier, Reina? You’re seeing a soldier?”
I stare down at my empty plate. “Yes, Nani. I really…really care about him. I tried not to. I didn’t want to feel so much. I thought I could just keep my heart safe and not fall for him, but…I can’t. I know I shouldn’t. I know what will happen. I know that I’ll end up hurt.” I fold in on myself and the tears I kept at bay earlier are full-fledged now.
Nani’s arms come around me and she leans her head against my shoulder. “Now, now, I know you. If you care this much, he must be a good person. We will…” she takes a deep breath, “we will deal with this.”
I wipe my cheek with my palm and give the top of her grey head a kiss. “We will?” I whisper.
“We will, my beautiful granddaughter.”
She pulls back and there is such wisdom in her wide brown eyes. “Perhaps we don’t tell your mother right now, though? I will help you when it is time.”
I pat her hand. “Thank you, Nani. I love you.” I’m so grateful for this strong woman, this woman who left behind everything familiar to help us. She is my hero and my guardian angel. I can’t even begin to imagine what my life would be like without her.
