Page 20 of Only Yours
“You’re so smart, Brian. Why didn’t you stay in school instead of joining the Army? You had to have the grades to go to college.”
My smile drops. I hate talking about my troubles at school, but this is Reina, so I tell the truth.
“I had horrible grades. I, um, have ADHD. I couldn’t sit still if my life depended on it. The Army gives me a chance to do physical things and do different types of work. I’m patient with long term things,” I almost add, like us, but think better of it, “but with schoolwork it was always hard for me to finish tasks. My teachers hated having me as a student because I just couldn’t sit still. Besides, the Army will pay for me to go to classes after I’m done with all this. I’m hoping to get my degree in computer sciences.”
She leans forward and nods. “I’m impressed soldier boy. I’m so not technical. I still have trouble getting on Zoom calls.” Color appears high on her cheeks again. “I had to get your sis to help me figure out Skype.”
I chuckle. “That’s fine, babe. I can always help you with that kind of stuff when I get back.”
She licks her lips and I swear the sight sends electricity to my cock. I shift in my chair.
“Speaking of when you get back, any timeline on that?” she asks curiously. I can tell she’s trying not to appear too anxious, but damn I can’t wait to go home too. Especially to her.
“The Army is unpredictable, but I’m hearing it could be as early as around Thanksgiving. That’s only a month away. So, only a month from finally getting to see you again in person.” Only a month until I can hold her in my arms. Until I can taste her.
Her eyes widen. “That’s soon.”
“That’s a good thing, right? I can’t wait to see you.” My stomach knots at the possibility that maybe she isn’t quite as excited to see me in real life.
She glances down again. “Hey, look at me, Reina. What’s wrong?”
Her head snaps up and her teeth clamp over that beautiful bottom lip again. “What if you don’t like me as much in person? What if all this is so easy because we’re so far apart?”
I shake my head. “Not possible, beautiful girl. You’re forgetting I became obsessed with you when I met you in person. We’ll be fine, babe, I promise.”
This time, she touches the screen. “I hope so, Brian, because I really want to see you. I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone so much especially someone I haven’t been around that much in day-to-day life.”
A warm feeling passes through me. Reina never says stuff like that to me. I place my hand on the screen so that our palms appear to be touching. “I miss you too, sweetheart. And everything will be perfect, I promise.”
I sit there in the uncomfortable office chair long after we’ve clicked out of Skype.What if I can’t make everything perfect for her? What if she always has doubts that I can be there for her?My stomach roils with panic at the thought.What if she gets tired of waiting for me and decides that it’s not worth it?Am I just like my dad? Am I abandoning the women I care about most in the world? Sometimes it sure feels that way.
Chapter 20
Home should be where the heart is, right? Then how come it feels like my heart is being suffocated when I’m there? -Reina
Reina
Home. Where I should be comfortable and be the real me. Instead, as I walk up the porch steps, I feel nothing but trepidation and an overwhelming sense of doom.
I’m looking forward to seeing Nani. But my mother…let’s just say my mother and I are like two warriors from warring factions. We have tried to reach a truce more times than I can count, but after what happened my senior year of high school, we are just learning to be happy with not killing each other.
I open the heavy wooden door and glance around the wide foyer. The chandelier that hangs there is beyond ostentatious and everything in the house is white and luxurious. My mother, the famous neurosurgeon. She can never do anything half ass or just have a normal house. No comfy couches or chairs, just these pieces of furniture that look like they’ve never encountered a human before. Most of them haven’t.
The smells from the kitchen are the first welcome sign I finally get. I take a long inhale and sigh in contentment.Nani’s samosa recipe.
I set down my duffel bag on the dining room table. “Nani! I’m home!”
Nani comes rushing from the kitchen with a spatula in one hand. “My Reina, come here my sweet!”
She opens her arms wide, and I immediately cuddle into her. I have to lean down a bit because Nani is shorter than five feet. She’s as wide as she is tall, and her soft body welcomes me in a way that signals home to me. If a person represents home, then Nani is that person. I breathe her in deeply, enjoying the smell of the spices she always cooks with and the warm smell that is uniquely Nani. I’ve missed her so damn much.
“Hey Nani, so happy to see you,” I murmur and bury my head against her shoulder. For some reason, my eyes fill with tears.
She lightly pats my back. “Reina, sweet one, what is this? Are you okay?”
She pulls back from me, and her dark brown eyes widen as they see my tears. “What is this?” she reaches up and catches my first tear as it falls.
I sniffle and shrug my shoulders. “Just happy to see you.”
