Page 18 of Dirty Lyrics
Nice neighborhood, really. Too nice for a girl like Maya to hide in, thinking nobody would find her.
I made a mental note to have my realtor look into properties nearby.
That’s what I do now that the money’s finally coming in—buy real estate.
Anchor myself in places.
Build what my father never gave me.
A sense of permanence. A foundation.
Everything I want to give to Maya. And to my son.
Because the truth?
They don’t tell you when you’re chasing the dream, when you’re fighting to get out of the barrio with nothing but your voice, that if you get fucked on the first contract—and I did—it’s almost impossible to claw your way back.
Matheson owns too much of me.
The goddamn label does too.
But I’ll break free.
How? By becoming so big, so undeniable, that even he can’t cage me.
And I’ll do it with her.
Maya’s words are the key.
Her fire, her honesty, her soul—I need that. I need her.
But don’t get it twisted.
This isn’t about using her. I don’t want to steal her talent like a thief.
I want her as my partner. My wife. In every fucking way.
Because I don’t just need this woman. I love her.
She is my other half. She completes me in every way. I haven’t been right since she’s been gone.
Honestly? This is the first time I’ve felt like even a shadow of myself in months.
I haven’t said it because she wouldn’t believe me. Not yet.
I can see it in the way her eyes won’t quite meet mine. The way she holds herself stiff, like she’s waiting for me to break her again.
And maybe I deserve that.
But she’s carrying my baby. And now she’s wearing my ring.
It’s nothing fancy, just a small gold cross I inherited from my grandfather when I graduated high school.
It was too small for me, so I kept it on a chain around my neck. Now it’s on her finger.
And, fuck me, if it doesn’t look like it always belonged there.
I’m still feeling raw about how she turned her back on me. How she didn’t believe me.
