Page 54 of Touch the Sky
It definitely has nothing to do with Tess.
Chapter 13
Tess
Iprop my phone up on the kitchen counter and take a couple steps back so my mom can get her requested full-length view of my outfit.
“Well, don’t you look dapper!” she gushes, surveying me on the video call screen.
I flick some lint off my black jeans and straighten the lapels of the brown houndstooth blazer I completely forgot I owned until pulling it out of a moving box last week.
“You think so?” I ask. “I went with jeans because I didn’t want to look too fancy. It’s not supposed to be super formal. Is it weird, though? Should I try slacks?”
Mom shakes her head. “It’s perfect, honey. You’re going to have all the Québécois girls falling at your feet tonight.”
I laugh, but I still feel a flush burning my cheeks as I grab my phone and sit back down at the table.
“Come on, Mom. You know I don’t date anymore.”
I expect her to make another joke or move the conversation along, but instead, she draws in a sharp breath and then presses her lips together, like she’s sealing up whatever she wants to say.
I tilt my head. “What is it?”
“It’s nothing.”
She wraps her hands around her mug of mint hot chocolate. We decided to make our traditional drink before having a quick pre-dinner chat today. I watch her take a sip and then swallow.
“Well, it’s not my place to say,” she adds.
I huff a laugh. “Way to be cryptic. Come on. You have to say it now.”
I’m keeping my tone light, but there’s a prickle of apprehension skittering along my skin.
“I just don’t want to see you missing out on anything life has to offer you.”
The prickle turns into fiery jolts that make me grimace and ball my hands into fists in my lap.
“I’m not missing out on anything,” I say in a low, rumbling voice. “Shel is my life. I don’t need a relationship to be happy. Iamhappy.”
I’ve spent a whole decade trying to explain that to friends, dates, and even random strangers who think they deserve an opinion on my life.
I didn’t miss out on the fun of my twenties because I chose to have Shel. My twenties were funbecauseof Shel. She makes me laugh like no one else, and even on the tough days, just looking at her fills me with more love than I knew a person could feel.
I thought my mother understood that.
I open my mouth to speak, but I can’t find any words. My chest aches. I press a hand to my sternum.
Mom’s eyes flare wide with alarm.
“Oh, honey, that’s not what I meant at all. I know that. Of course I know that.”
I quit straining my fists, relief loosening the tension in my arms when I hear how sincere she sounds.
“It’s a perfectly valid choice not to date again until Shel is older,” she says. “I know you have your reasons. I guess I’mjust worried about you settling into your new life okay. It’s hard when you’re so far away. I’m sorry.”
I release a heavy exhale and shake my head.
“No, I’m sorry. I know you’d never think Shel is holding me back. I just really hate the idea that she could ever end up thinking that about herself.”
