Page 113 of Holy Hearts
It feels like a punch to the gut, and as my jaw hardens, I can’t help but narrow my eyes. “Oh? Do tell.”
He huffs a laugh. “You sound jealous.”
“I am.”
Kai’s gray eyes bore into mine, and it feels like someone’s sucked all the air out of my lungs. His teasing smile turns quieter, more vulnerable.
“You don’t need to be jealous. It wasn’t like… this,” he adds, looking back down at Sophie.
“Like what?” I ask. My pulse is beating erratically, and my chest feels tight. I see him shrug.
“Like… this. Like it matters. This matters to me. Or it’s beginning to, at least.”
The words land heavy and warm, tangling with the jealousy still bubbling beneath the surface of my skin. For the first time in a long time, I don’t know what to say, so I just hold eye contact as he sighs, gearing up to continue speaking. Looking away, he opens his mouth.
“I’m sort of figuring all this out as I go. And it doesn’t help that every time you look at me, it’s as if you want to kiss me and strangle me at the same time. It’s fucking unnerving,” he adds, his smile faint but unmistakably happy.
I laugh, and Sophie begins to stir. “Well, you are infuriating sometimes.”
His eyes narrow ever so slightly. “And yet… you’re still here.”
I swallow as the silence stretches between us, and everything between us feels taut and electric. Sophie mumbles something unintelligible, breaking the spell. Kai looks away first, his hand brushing against mine again, deliberately this time.
“We’ve got time to figure it out, I guess,” I murmur softly.
“Figure what out?” Sophie asks, stirring as she opens her eyes and looks right at me.
“How are you feeling?” Kai asks, and she turns to face him.
“Better. Much better.” She slowly extricates herself and stretches, yawning as she scoots to the edge of the bed. “Be right back. I desperately need a wee.”
Kai laughs as she walks to the en suite, and suddenly it’s just the two of us laying together in bed.
My mind is spinning as I scramble for what to say.
It’s not like he’s obligated to stay, but he did, and now I sort of feel like I should make him breakfast or something.
“How are your baking skills?” I ask him, positioning myself on my side with my face propped in my hand.
Kai’s lips twitch, and I can’t help but let my eyes flick over his face unabashedly.
“They’re decent,” he answers, eyes bright as he smiles.
I can’t help but smile back. “All right. Let’s go make some cinnamon rolls.”
“Cinnamon rolls?” he asks, and we both climb out of bed on opposite ends.
I don’t miss the way he has to adjust himself—I have to do the same.
“They’re Sophie’s favorite,” I explain. “In fact, I should probably give you a list of things she loves—English breakfast tea with a splash of milk and two sugars. She’s rarely in a bad mood, but when she is, a cup of tea and a couple of biscuits,” I start, making a kissing sound with my lips. We both walk down the stairs together. “Cinnamon rolls, as previously stated. She’ll always order the steak at a restaurant, but she’ll also want to try what you order, so be prepared for that. Proper chips—you call them fries here—are the cure-all for every one of her ailments. You can take the Brit out of England, but you can’t take England out of the Brit, I’m afraid.”
Kai laughs as we walk into the kitchen. “I appreciate the notes.”
As I head to the refrigerator, I notice him lingering behind the island, his hands braced against the counter like he’s grounding himself. His eyes track me, quiet but thoughtful, the way they used to when we were kids and he wasn’t sure how to step into my world.
“What are you doing? Grab a bowl. It’s not like you don’t know where everything is,” I say over my shoulder.
Kai had spent the better part of a day helping Sophie and me unpack our kitchen things. He’d been so good-natured about her indecisiveness, and at the time, I saw his adoration of her as good humor.
