Page 117 of Ten Rules for Faking It
EVERLY:I’m going to let that go because I cried all over you last night.
STACEY:And stopped me from getting some.
EVERLY:Your birthday is coming up. I’ll get you what you got me.
STACEY:Say it. Or type it. Come on.
Everly’s cheeks heated.
EVERLY:I need to get ready for work.
STACEY:You can’t type it, you’re not going to buy one. Besides, I have plenty.
Everly shook her head, laughing, the sadness mingling in with the humor creating a strange juxtaposition in her chest.
EVERLY:Ever hear of online shopping?
STACEY:Well played. I look forward to my birthday, then. See you soon?
EVERLY:Always. Stace?
STACEY:Evs.
EVERLY:Thanks.
STACEY:Always.
She set her phone back on the nightstand. As she got ready for her day, she did her best not to think about Chris and how the station would feel different without him. How everything would feel different without him.
“Good thing it wasn’t love,” she told her reflection when she stepped out of the shower. She dried her hair and did her best to keep her brain busy, but it kept flitting back to Chris.
Good thing it had been over before it began, because she couldn’t imagine what it would feel like if she’d gone all in. If she’d told him that he consumed her thoughts and made her want things she was scared to want. Good thing she hadn’t had a chance to give him more of herself. To give him everything. She just didn’t understand why, if her brainknewit was a good thing, her heart couldn’t get on board.
Over the next week, Everly did her best to focus on her job. She went each day, did all the things she’d always done, and went home to enjoy her nice, quiet life. The new promotion Mari had suggested for Mason’s show, which included a cruise with the deejay, had listeners spinning with excitement. Despite that, she was surprised to see daily comments popping up on her final post. She hadn’t given their listeners much: a few well-edited paragraphs of appreciation, how it’d take more time to find the one, but they’d always share music. It was a cop-out, but a succinct one. Why was everyone still invested? Her heart ached when she thought of how thingshadworked out—even if just for a moment.
The week after everything happened, she stood outside a nondescript building, hesitating to pull open the door and walk through. This could lead to all sorts of issues. She could regret it immediately or, worse, after a few weeks. She heard a car door shut behind her, the footsteps across the concrete.
“Are you waiting for me or just scared to go in?” Her mom approached her, pressed a kiss to her cheek.
“A little of both.”
“Oh, baby girl,” her mom sighed. “I’m sorry we messed you up.”
Everly laughed, shocked at the statement. She turned to face her mom. “I didn’t say you did. I just said I couldn’t get caught up in your relationship back-and-forth. Aside from that, you and Dad are great parents. I love you. So much. You know that, right?” Did no one know how she actually felt about them?Kind of hard when you keep that locked down to avoid rejection.Totally Stacey’s voice in her head. She pushed the thought away.
Her mom put an arm around her. “We do. But we alsoknow we’ve always treated you as more of an equal than a child, and maybe we’ve thrown things at you that you weren’t ready to absorb. It was unfair.”
“Just to say, Mom? I’m absolutely never going to be ready for you to throw condoms at me.”
Her mom chuckled, stared at the glass doors with Everly. “We learned our lesson. Speaking of which, your dad and I start counseling tonight.”
Everly turned her head, searched her mother’s expression. “You do?”
Her mom nodded, a tiny smile curving her lips. “You were right. We can’t keep doing this. I’ll admit, without giving you any unnecessary details, that there’s a certain… rush to the getting back together. And maybe even the splitting up. But it’s not healthy. We want to be married. We love each other, but that doesn’t mean things are easy.”
She could easily imagine how love was anything but easy. It was messy and complicated, and there was no list in the world that could simplify it because how could you simplify something that was based on emotion? On feeling?
“I’m glad, Mom. I’m rooting for you guys.”
