Page 32 of You Make It Feel like Christmas
“I know. I hope you know it goes both ways. I feel like I wasn’t there for you enough with your divorce or before it.”
“You’re the best brother I could ask for, Nick. You took care of me growing up, even after you got drafted. I’ve never felt like you weren’t there for me.”
Swallowing down the guilt, he leaned away and looked at his little sister. “Then why was the divorce such a shock to me? How long were you unhappy?”
A sad smile lifted her lips. “I didn’t tell you everything that was going on but not because I didn’t feel like I could. I was married. I’m a mom. I figured I could handle my own life and then it got to be so much, and I realized, that’s not what I wanted to put my energy into. Especially after he cheated. There was no going back. I was unhappy for a while but, and this is the important piece, I’m happy now.”
It’d been just the two of them, short of Colt’s family, for most oftheir lives. Their dad had left when Ellie was younger than Asher. Their mom had wanted a life that didn’t include two kids tying her down. Nick always suspected that if their father hadn’t left, she would have been satisfied, maybe even a good mom. Being alone made her angry. She took that out on them and focused on herself, on what she needed out of life. The only reason she’d come around to supporting Nick’s dreams was because she realized he could be a meal ticket.
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
She leaned into him again. “Same.”
He had a place to land. He’d be okay. But knowing those things didn’t make coming to a conclusion any easier. Especially since all he really wanted to do was find Maisie and lose himself in kissing her again.
Ellie sat up, turned to look at him. “So? You’re standing in for David?”
He shook his head, not sure how he’d ended up in that position. “You live in a weird little town, sis.”
“True. But it’s a sweet one and we like it here. This is going to be big. You’re a big deal in most places but in a small town? People will come to see you, especially since you’re taking the place of their beloved and well-respected goat.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. At this point, what the hell else could he do? He could have said no, even though he’d sort of felt boxed in. But why? It was one more distraction to pull him away from the choices looming over his head or rehabbing his knee.
“I’ve never stood in for a goat before but I’ve done dozens of these types of events. It’s not a big deal.” He hoped. He couldn’t always predict when his anxiety would pop in for a visit. But something like this wasn’t about how great he was on the ice. He didn’t have to talk strategy or all-time scoring. He just needed to taste some dessert.
“Bet you never imagined this as part of being a hockey player,” Ellie said.
Nick pushed up from his seat, held out a hand to help Ellie up. “Guess I’ve really made something of myself.”
Her laughter soothed him in the same way Asher’s did. It reminded him that there were a lot of things outside of hockey that mattered. Now, if he could just make a damn choice, maybe he’d be able to breathe easier.
Chapter Twelve
MAISIE COULDN’T SLEEP.UNPLUGGINGher phone, she brought up her text messages.
Maisie
Lex, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how to say it but I slept with a hot hockey player when I went to my friend Hailey’s wedding in June. Now, he’s here and I can’t focus on anything except how much I still want him. Which is not good because even though our night felt like magic—possibly Will & Lexi–level magic—he walked away without a glance. But it turns out he had a damn good reason and now I’m even more confused. We kissed again today and I basically want to curl up and live inside of him. Do you think I should be worried?
She stared at her phone a second and then deleted every word, tossed her phone on the bed beside her, and got out of the bed. After dinner, which had, for her, been full of furtive looks over spaghetti and salad, everyone, except Maisie and her mom and Nat, went outside to play hockey in the driveway.
Seeing it as a good chance to escape, Maisie told her mom and sister she had some photo editing to do. And she hid. She wasn’t proud of it but she knew that there were two paths, and she didn’t know which one to wander down: Jump him because why the hell not; he was hot, they were into each other, and what was wrong with a little holiday fun? Or, pretend he didn’t exist like a big baby coward who couldn’t face the fact that these weren’t just feelings of attraction. They weren’t even one-sided. And that was a scarier realization.
She pulled on a pair of thin joggers and snuck out of her room, down the stairs, and into the dark kitchen. The moon was coming through the window over the sink, giving just enough glow to see her way around. Going straight to the fridge, she opened it, grabbed the box of cookies, and pulled it out. When she shut the door, a large body loomed right there, scaring the absolute hell out of her. The box went flying, landing with a sad thud on the island countertop. Nick looked over at the mess then back at Maisie.
“You scare easily.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Seriously? It’s dark and you appeared out of nowhere. How can you even move so quietly? You’re huge.”
There was enough light coming in to see his lips break into a wide, arrogant smile.
Maisie rolled her eyes and pushed past him, turning the smooshed box over to try to see what she could salvage.That’s right, focus on the cookies. Why does he smell so good?
“Should I be worried about your cookie addiction?”
Picking up a crumbled piece of a snickerdoodle, she popped it in her mouth. “Nope. It’s going just fine, thanks for caring.”
“Maisie.”
