Page 77 of Rock Out Together
If I’d felt insecure at the party, I was reeling when I fell into bed that night, and I let the tears hit the pillow until I finally fell asleep.
The next afternoon, I was at Emma’s house. They had a pool in the backyard, and Emma’s dad was threatening to winterize it early this year, so we planned to enjoy it while the weather was still plenty hot.
Instead of swimming, though, we lay on lounges by the pool just talking. We were both in bathing suits. I was in a one-piece, because I felt almost nude in a bikini, which was what Emma wore. The blue in the suit almost matched the color of her eyes—and, with her blonde hair pulled up in a high ponytail, her eyes were hard to miss.
I needed to confide in her but wasn’t sure how to say what I wanted to without sounding stupid. She and Cameron had already begun having sex at the end of last year, and she’d described to me in detail what it was like, the good, the bad, and the mind-blowing.
And, quietly, because her little brother had a habit of sneaking up on us, she told me all about last night’s adventures in oral. Until Jason, I hadn’t become extremely aroused to the point of distraction, but kissing him often got me there. We hadn’t gone too far and he understood I neededtime, but I wasn’t going to give myself to him if I was nothing more than a fling.
The sun was warm on my legs—almosttoowarm—and, just as Emma was delivering the literal climax to her story, Eddie appeared on the deck with a fully loaded Super Soaker. Before we spotted him, he ran toward us yelling before he began spraying water at us.
“What the hell?” Emma said, standing—and, as he got near, she tried to push him in the pool, but he dodged. Eddie looked like a smaller male version of his sister—but he was still thin, not having gone through puberty yet.
“You guys look like you need to cool off.”
“Get out of here!”
When Eddie giggled, Emma got up and chased him toward the house. I laughed, because I often wished I’d had a little brother or sister. Even though he was a brat sometimes, he was also funny and cute, and Emma didn’t always appreciate that. But I did, even though I’d never say it out loud.
I moved to the edge of the pool and dipped my feet in. Soon, Emma sat next to me. “God, he’s such a little shit.” Looking back at the house, she pointed a finger. “At least he’ll have soccer games on the weekends soon.”
“I can help you throw him in the pool if he comes back.”
“He’s too dodgy. I don’t think—then again, with both of us, we might have a chance.” She shook her head. “Anyway, what did you guys do last night when you left? Did you tell him?”
“No. I just don’t think we’re on the same page—and if I tell him, I might scare him away for good.”
“Aw, Al. No way. That boy loves you. He just doesn’t know it yet.”
Frowning, I made circular patterns in the water, focusing on the ripples my motions made. “What makes you say that?”
“Uh…that song dedicated to you last night, for one thing. I didn’t see the lead singer serenadinghisgirlfriend. Doesn’t that count for anything?”
“Yeah, but did you listen to the lyrics? It feels more possessive than loving.”
“Quit,” Emma said, drawing out the word for emphasis. “I’m telling you he cares about you.”
“That’s what he said last night—that hecaresabout me.”
“So?”
“So…that doesn’t necessarily mean love.”
The way Emma shook her head while pushing her feet against the bottom of the pool to make her bounce up and down slowly could have made her seem less serious—but the tone of her voice kept my attention. “You know what my mom would say? She’d say you’reborrowing trouble.”
I’d actually heard her mother say that more than once, but it was like Emma wasn’t hearing everything I was saying. “Okay. Let’s say hedoeslove me. But I don’t think he sees any kind of future with me. The last time I brought it up, he shut me up with a heavy make-out session.”
“Like that’s a bad thing.”
“You know what I mean.” Ordinarily, Emma didn’t frustrate me—but today was different. Was it because she and Cameron merely lived for the moment? She’d said that more times than I could count. But maybe it was that she really didsee something in Jason that I didn’t. “Promise you won’t say anything.”
“Do you really have to ask that now?”
Despite myself, I laughed. “Fair enough.” Still, I lowered my voice. “I applied to CU.”
“As inBoulder?Colorado?”
“Yeah.”
