Page 19 of Tower
“What’s goin’ on, girl? Jen said you’re sick or somethin’.”
I don’t want to answer. Even the energy to form a few words feels like too much for me right now. But he’s standing there, staring at my back and waiting for an answer, so I mumble, “I’m not sick.”
“Then what is it?”
“Nothing. Can I be left alone for a while?” I force my tone into a semblance of politeness, although I really want to snap his head off.
“You can be left alone after you tell me what the fuck is hap’nin’ here.” He strides toward my side of the bed and plops his ass down on the edge. Right next to me.
It makes me mad, and I burst into tears.
Ihateit. I hate everything. But there’s nothing I can do to change any of it.
“Damn it, Hailey. You’re gonna tell me what’s wrong, and you’re gonna tell me right the fuck now. Did someone try somethin’ on you? Did someone hurt you?”
“No!” I gasp, too startled and upset to hold back the truth any longer. “It’s nothing like that. I just… I… I miss my dad!”
It’s more than that. It’s everything. But it’s as close to an explanation as I can get.
I lost him only two weeks ago. And I’ve been pretending it didn’t happen, but it did. That kind of denial only takes us so far. Grief will always sit there in the darkness like a monster lying in wait, and eventually we have to face it.
Levi gets it. He’s silent, but his silence feels like comprehension rather than impatience.
I cry, curled in on myself in the fetal position with my eyes squeezed closed, and he sits on the edge of the bed, unmoving and unspeaking.
I really don’t know if he wants to say something comforting but lacks the words or if he’s simply stiff and awkward or if he’s reconsidering our entire deal because I’ve suddenly become high maintenance instead of making his life easier.
I might be ruining my entire future by falling apart this way, but I’m not strong enough to hold out against it any longer.
“Okay,” he says at last, standing up and looking down at me. “I’ll have someone bring you up some dinner.”
“I’m not hung?—”
“No fuckin’ way.” He scowls at me. “You can stay up here for a while. You never got any time to deal with… It’s fine. It’s fine with me. Take the time you need. But you’re gonna eat. That’s the deal. You stay healthy, and you won’t get any other pressure from me until you… you feel better.”
Ridiculously, my first response yet again is to be pissy. That he’s placing any sort of demands on me. I don’t feel like eating. I don’t feel like doing anything but lying in bed and crying. But the part of my mind that can still form reasonable thoughts realizes I really dodged a bullet here.
Levi is being generous. Our agreement requires certain responsibilities on my part, and he’s freeing me of them temporarily so I can grieve.
I wouldn’t have expected that from such a gruff, hard man.
“Okay,” I manage to say. “Thank you.”
“You’ll eat?”
“I’ll eat. You can—” I choke slightly when the pressure in my throat closes down.
Frowning, he waits until I can finish.
“You can tell everyone you had to punish me or something. And that’s why I’m stuck up here. You can say I’m here until I shape up. That way it won’t mess up your reputation with them.”
I genuinely think this is a very good idea and a clever way to preserve the benefits he’s received from my being here. So I don’t know why he looks so annoyed as he turns toward the door. “I’m not gonna—” He cuts himself off as he reaches the door. “I’ll take care of it.”
I don’t know what that means or what he’s planning to tell everyone.
At the moment, I don’t care enough to find out.
He leaves, and I’m glad that he’s gone.
