Page 121 of The Formation of Us
Cora called Duke Daddy.
Why couldn’t Adam call him Dad?
Why didn’t Duke want to be his father?
No matter how hard he tried to hold back his tears, they just flooded out of his eyes and made his nose run. He scrubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes.
It was stupid to cry. He was just a cry-baby. Maybe that’s why Duke didn’t want to be his dad. Maybe he thought Adam was too old to have a dad. Or maybe Duke was ashamed of him be-cause Adam’s mother was a prostitute. But Faith had the same mother, so that didn’t make any sense.
Nothing made any sense.
Why would that lawyer man want to be his fathernow? Had Duke found him? How did the lawyer know about the brothel? But after a minute of thinking, Adam realized that if the lawyer really was his father, he must have been one of his mother’s guests. So that’s how he knew about the brothel. And the judge had been a guest, too, so maybe the men were friends. Or maybe they hated each other because they both had liked Adam’s mother.
His mother was the cause of all of this. If she hadn’t been a prostitute, none of this would have happened. And Adam wouldn’t have met Duke Grayson.
A surge of tears burned his eyes, but Adam didn’t care. It hurt not to be wanted.
It hadn’t mattered so much before he met Duke, but now he liked having a man to show him how to build things, and to take him fishing in a boat, and to tell him about riding a sled off the barn roof. That stupid lawyer probably didn’t know any of those things. And he wasn’t half the man Duke was; Adam could tell just by looking at him.
“Adam?”
Rebecca’s worried call jerked his head up. He scrubbed his face on Duke’s coat sleeves, but didn’t answer.
The tree limbs lifted and she stepped inside. “I found you,” she said, but her smile died the instant she looked at his face. “What’s wrong? Are you hurt?”
He was hurt worse than he’d ever been in his life, but he shook his head. It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her he got dirt in his eyes, but Duke’s words about being truthful rang in his ears. “I can’t see you anymore.”
A sick look crossed her face. “Why?”
“Because you have a good father, and it’s not right for me to cause problems between the two of you.”
“My dad’s too protective.”
“You’re lucky to have a dad like that.”
“I know, but he’s still too protective.”
Maybe he was. Adam wouldn’t know. His own father hadn’t cared enough to even let him know his name.
“Did something happen to you?” she asked, sitting on the boat hull beside him.
“I met my father this morning.”
Her eyes widened and she gave him a beaming smile that almost made him cry again, because this was the last time they would meet like this. “That’s wonderful!”
“It’s terrible. He’s a lawyer from Syracuse.”
“But you thought he was in prison. Isn’t this good news?”
“If he was in prison, he wouldn’t have been able to come see me. A lawyer could. If he wanted to.”
“Oh . . .”
He watched her smile fade and knew she was starting to understand it was better not knowing, because then he could believe anything he wanted. He could make excuses for the man. But now, the only excuse was that the lawyer didn’t care.
“Have you ever wondered what your life would be like without your dad?” he asked.
“Once. When I was thinking about my first mother, I wondered what it would have been like if she hadn’t given me to my dad. But it made me sad, so I quit thinking about it.”
