Page 72 of Far From Sherwood Forest
John shakes his head. “The only thing he’s said is that you’rethe only one he’ll explain things to. He and Alan nearly got into it, but I kept them from beating the shit out of each other. Though, I’m not entirely sure Will doesn’t deserve it. He’s been sitting over there for the past couple of hours.”
I nod and then move toward the others gathered around the fire. John returns to his seat, and I consider sitting in one of the empty chairs but decide against it, remaining on my feet in case I need to make a quick escape again and get the fuck out of here.
“Will.”
He finally looks over before standing and heading toward us, slowly like a man walking toward the gallows. He comes to a stop on the other side of the fire and waits, awaiting his execution. Some of the blood has been cleaned from his face, but there’s still remnants of it on his chin and under his nose that looks a little crooked.
“I don’t want excuses,” I tell him preemptively as I cross my arms over my chest. “I want the truth, Will.”
He peers around at the others. “Could we talk in private?”
“Absolutely not. You didn’t just betray me. You betrayed all of us. Your fuckingfamily.”
Will’s bottom lip trembles as he nods. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
“Thetruth,” I remind him.
“The truth is that…” He inhales a shuddering breath and lets it out as his face crumples and tears gather in his eyes. “I had evil thoughts. I resented you, Robin. We had a decent life before we became outlaws.Ihad a decent life. A comfortable one. I believed your quest for justice was naive, that nothing we did would ever do any good. I believed that real power lay in controlling the system rather than fighting against it. I wanted that power. I wanted…I wanted what you had. The power to make people listen, to follow you. So, yeah, I was a little jealous too.”
None of it is easy to hear, but I let him speak because he’s actually giving me the truth.
“So you went to Prince John?”
He nods, and the tears that had pooled in his eyes start falling down his cheeks. “The day you asked me to fetch Marian. The day you trusted me with her.”
He’s interrupted by a sob, and he lowers his head. He sniffs and wipes away his tears before looking back up. I remain patient and try my damned hardest not to cry too, clenching my jaw to keep the urge at bay.
“I was so scared,” Will continues. “Iknewit was a bad idea, but I did it anyway. I told him why you sent me to the castle, and he gave me instructions to make it look as though Marian was trying to run away on her own. He told me that the guards would onlyarresther. He said that’s what had to happen because King Richard entrusted him with her care, and if he prevented her from running away, it’d gain him trust with the king. After…” He chokes up again before pushing on. “After she was killed, I realized he used me. He just wanted Marian out of the way. He wanted to hurtyou. He didn’t give a damn about the king because he never intended to return the crown to him. I realized the huge mistake I had made. You were right all along, Robin. I never should’ve doubted you or thought I could be better than you. I’m not, and I never will be.”
The silence that follows after all of that is heavy. I feel the others’ stares on me, the weight of them nearly as heavy as they wait to see how I’m going to respond.
But I don’t fuckingknow.
How do I respond tothat?
I clear my throat and ask, “What happened after that? You didn’t return to camp until late that evening. What were you doing?”
“Weeping in the forest,” he answers with a self-deprecatinglaugh. “I thought about not returning at all, about disappearing instead. But then the Spirit found me.”
“Shefoundyou?” John asks.
Will nods. “I begged her to bring Marian back, but she said she didn’t have that kind of power.”
Yet she has the power to turn thousands of butterflies into a bear. Or the other way around. What’s even the point of having magic?
“But she said there was something I could do to maybe,hopefully, save my soul. She wouldn’t tell me what it was back then, but I told her I’d do anything. I’d do whatever it takes. She said I had to return to you that night and that I’d know what it was when the time came. After you and John disappeared, I thought maybe she had deceived me. But then she came to me again and told me you were where you were supposed to be and that, one day soon, she’d send me to you. I’d have to convince you to go back, to be the savior that I didn’t believe you could be. That I’d have to believe in you this time. And I do, Robin. I do believe in you.”
For the first time, I look away from Will because, somehow, that puts a hell of a lot of weight on my shoulders while simultaneously lifting a different weight off my chest.
“I don’t understand why she had to send us here for that,” John mutters.
I think I do.
But I don’t say that.
I don’t think it has to doonlywith me. I think it has to do with Henry too.
“I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, cousin,” Will says, bringing my attention back to him. His voice shakes again as he speaks, and fresh tears fall down his already splotchy face, leaving trails through dried blood. “But you have to know how truly sorry I am. I’ve never been more sorry for anything in mylife.”
