Page 95 of Make Me Trust Again
Becky pulls back, that sadness once again reflects in her irises. “Have you really?”
A knot forms in my throat, the lie at the tip of my tongue, and yet I can’t force it out. Because we both know the truth. Physically, I might have been here for the last few years, but I haven’t really been present, not like she needed me to be.
She places her hand on my arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I know you’re not the man you were when you left, I would never expect you to be. However, I’m glad to see that traces of him are still hiding inside. You deserve to be happy, Chase.”
Uncurling her fingers, she lets her hand fall and, with one last smile, she takes a step back. “I’m going to put this one to sleep before my hand goes completely numb.”
Nodding absentmindedly, I lift the bottle, taking another sip of my drink, her words still running through my head as I slowly make my way to the small wooden dock.
You deserve to be happy, Chase.
She’s wrong, though. How can I be happy when so many people didn’t get a chance to live, much less find happiness? Why should I be the one to do so? It makes no sense. No fucking sense at all.
The wood creaks under my feet when I step on the dock, only to come to a stop when I see somebody’s already sitting there.
No, not just somebody.
Rose.
She glances over her shoulder at the sound, her lips parting when she spots me.
“Chase.”
At one point, she had put a dress over her bikini, but it’s not doing much to hide her curves, as the black material is completely sheer. Her hair had dried under the sun, leaving her strands tangled in wild locks around her face, and all I can think about is how I want to sink my fingers into her wild hair and tilt her head so I can press my mouth against hers.
Test if she’ll taste as good as she did the other night.
She’s not yours to have.
“Hey, I didn’t see you there. I’ll just—” I start to turn around, but she stops me.
“You don’t have to leave.”
I should most definitely leave.
But do I do that?
No.
Because no matter how much I want or how hard I seem to try, I can’t resist the pull toward her.
Rose turns to me, pulling her knees to her chest. “I wanted to talk to you. To thank you for hanging out with Kyle today. He had a blast.”
“You don’t have to thank me.”
“I do.” She tilts her head, a strand of hair falling into her face, and my fingers itch to push it away, but I shove them into my pockets instead. “I don’t think today would have been half as fun for him if you weren’t here. He can be a lot sometimes, but he really likes you.”
My gaze darts to the shore where Kyle and the other kids are tossing the ball for Shadow. “I think it’s Shadow, not me.”
Rose chuckles softly and tucks that runaway strand behind her ear. “He does love your dog, but it’s also you.” She rests her chin on her knees. “He trusts you, and that goes a long way when you’ve been hurt in the past.”
What about you? Do you trust me?
The question is at the tip of my tongue, but I bite it back. Trust is a fragile thing, and it’s hard to give on a good day, much less when you’ve been hurt before. And I’m the last person who deserves somebody’s trust. Not when I so epically betrayed it in the past.
“Don’t I know it.”
Silence settles over us, and I can feel my body relax. I know I should probably go, turn around, and leave her to her thoughts, but instead, I find myself lowering down. My back protests as I sit on the wooden floor, sliding my legs over the edge.
