Page 94 of Make Me Trust Again
Before I can say anything, or even think of what to say exactly, he turns around, calls out to Shadow, and the two of them run to the other boys.
Letting out a shaky breath, I just watch them for a moment, my throat growing tighter by the second. I run my hand over my jaw and turn on my heels, only to almost run into Becky.
“Good game,” she says, handing me a bottle of water, her other hand holding onto a sleeping Jackson.
I take it, grateful to have something to do with my hands. “Thanks.”
Popping off the lid, I take a long pull from the bottle, letting the cold liquid slide down my throat.
“You’re really good with him.” Becky’s gaze is fixed over my shoulder, a small smile playing on her lips before she shifts her gaze back to me. “I can see why he picked that sign name for you.”
My brows furrow in confusion. “What name?”
Becky grins, amusement dancing in her irises. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”
“Becky…”
She shakes her head. “It’s not my place to tell.”
“Well, funny considering you’re the one who brought it up.”
“I was just surprised, that’s all.” She quirks her brow. “I didn’t realize you’ve become buddies with your neighbors. Not after being so opposed to it in the first place.”
“We’re not buddies, we…” Cursing, I run my hand over my face.
I don’t know what we are, and if I can’t explain it to myself, how the hell am I supposed to explain it to my meddling sister?
“He likes Shadow, so he came around a few times.”
“Mm-hmm…” Becky hums noncommittally.
“You know you’re annoying when you do that.” I glare at her. “It’s the truth. He came around, and I didn’t have the heart to push him away. No matter what you might think, I’m not that big of an asshole.”
“I know you’re not an asshole,” Becky says softly, her face turning serious. “Although I sometimes wonder ifyou’re aware of that.”
I don’t bother correcting her; it’s not like she’ll listen anyway.
“Doesn’t everybody have one?”
To my sister’s dismay, I don’t know much about sign language. She tried to convince me to take some ASL classes, so it would be easier for me to communicate after the doctors said there would be no getting my hearing back, but I never took her up on it. I didn’t see the point in it. Sure, my ears are ringing, and yes, I have trouble hearing if somebody comes from my right side, but I’m not completely deaf. A part of me regrets it now. Still, I assume everybody has a sign name. Right?
There it is again, that hum. “Kind of.”
“It’s not a shitty one, is it? And you all are just laughing behind my back.”
The corner of Becky’s mouth tilts upward.
“It is, I knew it. What does it mean?”
“You’ll have to look it up yourself.” She gives me a pointed look. “Or you can ask him. After all, he’s the one who chose it foryou. Usually, you just spell out your name with the alphabet, but sometimes deaf people will give you a sign name. Only they can do so, and those names have their own special meaning based on who’s given them to you.”
My stomach twists as I mull over Becky’s softly spoken words, trying to figure out what it all means.
My gaze darts to the lake and the boy standing in it. What did he choose? And why? Why give me, of all people, a sign name? It makes no sense. He barely knows me. Not that I want him to know me. Know what I did. If he ever found out, he’ll never look at me like he did up until now, and something about that makes bile rise up in my throat.
Becky rests her head on my shoulder, snapping me out of my thoughts. We just stand like that for a moment. “I’m glad you came today,” Becky says softly. “I miss having my big brother around.”
“I’ve been here for a while.”
