Page 41 of Shattered
My gut twisted when my conscience reminded me that I was most likely going to add another scar to his already splintered heart. It took all of my strength to keep sitting where I was instead of running away like I wanted to.
"I'll never forget that night as long as I live," his voice was soft and filled with regret. "As usual, we were partying hard until we ran out of booze and everything else. I knew a guy and volunteered to get moreparty-treats.I'd made it a couple of miles before I lost control of the Chev and drove it straight into another car."
I held my breath while I waited for the rest.
"I can still hear the screeching of the tires and the clatter of metal scraping together. Even the burning stench of rubber hasn't left me. But all of that is nothing compared to the sobering moment when I noticed the girl next to me." Logan let go of my hands, pushed to his feet and started pacing with his long fingers buried in his hair.
His beautiful face was twisted into a pained expression; I felt it in my soul. Slowly, I got to my feet too and approached him. I needed to get him out of that awful memory that was causing him so much anguish. Reaching out, I wrapped my fingers around his arm.
"Logan," it was a whisper, but he heard me. When he turned those deep, dark eyes on me, I swallowed down a lump and continued. "You've shared so much; you don't have to go on."
He pulled his hands from his hair and encased mine in them. "I want you to knoweverything,but I'm afraid of what you'll think of me."
"I'm the last person whose thoughts you should worry about." I tried to free my hands from his grip but he held them in a vice.
"You don't get it, do you?" Logan traded one of my hands for my cheek, gently stroking over my skin with his calloused thumb.
"I don't," I answered honestly.
His heated gaze held mine captive. "Your opinion is theonlyone that matters."
I shook my head while I tried to take a step back, but Logan was still holding onto me as if the connection was grounding him. I looked at him,really looked at him, whatever secret he was carrying was eating him up. That was the moment I realized that it was within my power to lessen his burden, even if that could be potentially detrimental tomyheart.
"I could never judge you." Everything around us became eerily quiet; like Mother Nature was holding her breath in hopes that my words would register.
A couple of dark strands flopped over his forehead when he steadily nodded. Again, I was left waiting with bated breath for the words that were about to spill from his lips.
"The girl," his voice was hoarse and strangled; he had to clear his throat twice before he could continue. "To this day I have no recollection of her getting in the car with me. At that time, I didn't even know who she was." At the admission shame masked his face, I was very tempted to just pull him to me and hold him until all the hurt left his body.
I didn't.
After licking his lips, he braved on, "Her name was Valerie and climbing into my car cost her her life. I was drunk and high out of my mind, and yet she was the one to die that day."
"Logan, I'm-"
"And because Pop and Eli -" he continued on as if I hadn't said a thing. "- were able to pull some strings, I got 3 years and a $5000 fine while a girl lost her damn life."
Maybe this little fact should've put me off of this man—I was silently hoping that his secret would be so terrible that I couldn't possibly fall for him any more than I already had. But as it stood, I was in awe of him.
I took a step closer and pushed my fingers through his beard before taking his cheeks in my hands, keeping his attention on me. I needed him to hear me and understand me. "What happened to Valerie was tragic. But, Logan, to come from where you were to where you are now, is nothing short of amazing. It would have been so easy to fall back into your old habits, but you turned your life around for the better. I can only admire you for that."
His eyes burned with emotion as he narrowed them in confusion. Logan,mybig, fearless Logan, looked so vulnerable and lost in that moment, it just about crippled me.
Something else hit me; while I had been fighting so hard to keep him from breaking down my walls; he was already taking up residence in my heart.
The warmth of Harper's palms seeped through my skin and kick-started my heart. The way she was looking at me—like I was something to be admired—might've had a little to do with it too. I didn't know what I'd expected when I let her in on my past, but it wasn't this.
It almost seemed as if the last of her walls came crumbling to the ground the moment I shed light on that dark blotch that had stained my heart for so long. There was more, though, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her the rest. Not when all I wanted to do was confess to her how deep my feelings ran.
I was about three-quarters of the way to loving this woman. In my own head, my admission sounded like the ramblings of a madman, I could only imagine what it would sound like if I said it out loud.
Therefore, instead of making a complete and utter fool of myself by confessing my feelings, I wrapped my fingers around each of her hands and first dragged her right wrist to my lips before doing the same with the left.
Her irises darkened, and I swear, the leaves on the giant trees surrounding us had nothing on Harper's eyes. They were big, round, and entirely unguarded. Helpless, I surrendered to the temptation to taste her tongue.
Releasing her hands, I wound mine in her hair and pulled her face to mine. That first hesitant brush of our lips shot through my veins like a powerful drug. To me, that's exactly what she was. My drug. My remedy. My salvation.
With my tongue gliding over her lips I asked—and then was given—permission to invade her mouth. I had to resist the urge to dive straight in and assault her with the hunger I felt. I took my time in tasting her, savoring her.
