Page 83 of Slow Burn
At that time there'd been only one person to give me perspective, so it was only natural that I sought her advice again. Which was why I found myself knocking on Sugar Booger's door almost thirty minutes later.
Through the large panel of glass, I could see Frankie heading toward the door, she'd barely pulled it open when I started rambling, "I know you're busy with my mom's birthday cupcakes, but would you mind if I kept you company for a bit?"
Almost immediately Frankie threw her arms around me and hugged me tight.
"What's wrong, Maddie Cakes?"
"Everything."
Before I had time to fully process what was happening, she shuffled us to the kitchen and started preparing tea. While she was busy, I took in the rows of cupcakes on the bench. Sitting in silver foil cups, the topswere adorned with frilly lilac and white frosting with the smallest sprinkling of glitter.
"Mom's going to love these," I said to her.
Frankie smiled wide as she walked over and handed me a steaming cup of comfort. "They're earl grey and lavender flavored, and I used cream cheese frosting to make it less sweet."
"They're perfect." I had no doubts that my mom's face would be lighting up the instant she tasted Frankie's creation. Of course, just thinking about the party had my mind going straight back to Adam. Or more specifically how I handled things.
Frankie patted my arm before slipping around the bench. I didn't miss the fact that my usually chatty friend was being uncharacteristically quiet. I knew it was because she was giving me breathing room to work through the mess in my head. But all this time to think was only filling me with doubts and regrets.
Carefully, Frankie set a cupcake on the turntable in front of her and while she spun it in a circle, she steadily moved the piping bag back and forth. Smooth ripples of frosting peeled from the nozzle to create the beautiful ruffled design.
"Talk to me, Maddie," Frankie hedged without taking her eyes off her hands. "What happened?"
My gaze flicked to the cup resting on the countertop in front of me. "I think I messed up—" Once I started talking there was no stopping the words from spilling out. I told her everything from how Adam and I grew closer up until the fight—was it even that?—we had earlier.
The entire time while I was pouring my heart out, she quietly decorated the cupcakes. It was that eerie stillness from her that had panic clawing at my chest. "I overreacted, didn't I?"
Frankie's shoulders rose and fell with the deep breath she took. Setting the piping bag on the counter, she reached across and patted my laced fingers. "This is a tricky one." Pulling her hand back, she lowered herself onto a stool. "You're not wrong for wanting the things you do—"
"But?"
"Can you imagine how Adam feels? The things that run through his head when people look at him?" Leaning forward, she drummed her fingers against the surface of the workbench. "Take me for instance, I don't have scars or deformities but there are times when I get uncomfortable when someone stares too long. It makes me feel icky and self-conscious. I'd bet anything it's a hundred times worse for Adam."
I narrowed my eyes. "So you're saying I was wrong?"
"No one is in the wrong here, Maddie Cakes." Pushing to her feet, Frankie rounded the bench and gripped me by the shoulders. "Like I said, you have every right to feel the way you do just as he has that same right. There's also a very real possibility that he might never be comfortable with being in public. You're going to have to decide if that's something you can live with."
Could I do it? Be in a relationship and still go out and do things by myself—all the time?
36
ADAM
The weights in my hands fell against the concrete floor with a loud clank. I chuckled bitterly when the hollow sound disturbingly matched the hole inside my chest. The stupid space behind my breastbone that suddenly had feelings after years of being numb.
As much as I hated the dull ache inside my heart that seemed to find new heights with every thump against my ribs, I didn't wish it away. Because buried beneath the hurt and confusion was everything I felt for Maddie.
And I could never wish her away.
It'd taken me a good few hours to accept the possibility that I might've overreacted. Make no mistake, being around people scared the shit out of me. The way their eyes always lingered had a direct line to the part of my brain where my confidence stemmed from.
What I had failed to let sink in was the fact that these weren't just any people Maddie wanted to introduce me to. It was her family and friends. The people closest to her. Her inner circle.
And she wanted to include me in that.
Shit! I wasn't just screwed up; I was a gigantic ass too. I fell back on the bench and threw a sweaty arm over my equally sweaty forehead. With a heavy sigh, my eyes roamed over the ceiling.
I needed to see her, talk to her. Make this right between us because there was no way I could let her go. Not without a fight. And definitely not when I knew she felt the same way about me.
