Page 47 of Falling for Red
He nods, looking thoughtful. “It’s not every day a sexy woman puts out a fire and then gives me shit about it.”
I smile. “So, why did that turn you on?”
“Because I like strong-willed women, and I really like when I make them comfortable enough to be in their feminine energy.”
I tilt my head. “Feminine energy?”
“I find the practice of Tantra to be fascinating. I agree with the concept that if I provide stability and structure, then my partner can relax and be fully themselves.”
I narrow my eyes playfully. “You keep surprising me.”
He chuckles, stepping to the fridge. “Why’s that?”
“It’s just … I don’t know. It’s cool, I guess, that you’ve put so much thought into this stuff.”
“You can thank a couple of my exes,” he easily says, now seasoning the chicken. “I didn’t seek it out, per se. They were into it, and now I’m really into it.” He looks almost bashful after saying that, looking down at the slow cooker for a few seconds. “I don’t think we have time for this idea anymore unless you want to have a late dinner.”
“Bake it instead?”
He nods and turns to his oven, preheating it and moving the meal to a sheet pan. Washing his hands, he says, “My goal is to always make you feel safe and honored.”
“So far so good.” I smile, falling for him more and take a sip of my drink.
“You could say this is a flaw of mine,” he says, sliding the pan into the oven. “I don’t wait for the oven to preheat until I put things in.”
“That’s a quirk. Not a flaw.”
He laughs softly while setting a timer. Jake sinks onto the couch beside me and pulls me close. His arm wraps around my shoulders, and I nestle against him, resting my head on his chest. He takes the drink from my hand and sets it on the coffee table. His fingers tangle in my hair, absently playing with the strands.
“The last two girls I dated were not into the idea of marriage …” he trails off, and I look up at him. “It’s something I would like … in the future.”
“What are you saying?” I ask, barely believing the fact that we are talking about this right now.
He exhales, looking hesitant before finally saying, “If you’re dead set on never getting married again, I’ll have to start mourning this connection.”
I reflexively swat his chest. “Okay, drama queen.”
He laughs. “I’m serious, though.”
I bite my lip. “I’m not dead set, but I’m also not in any rush.” I study his face. “It sounds like you might have some kind of timeline in your head.”
“I thought my life would be fully together by thirty-five.” He sighs. “But I’m a couple of months away from that birthday, and I still don’t have a family.”
I soften, my mind wandering to when I decided I needed to get divorced. “Sometimes you have to rewrite the plan.” He nods, agreeing. “Why is marriage so important to you?”
“It’s serious. It’s a commitment stronger than words.”
“But the patriarchy of it all …”
The ownership, like I’m a piece of property. Changing my name again. It was painful enough when I got married, and more painful when I changed it back. All the work I have to do that he wouldn’t have to.
He chuckles. “I don’t think the patriarchy believes God is a woman, and I do.”
“I’m a puddle.” I giggle, falling for Jake more and more.
“I don’t think the patriarchy wants me to be best friends with my wife either. But I want to be best friends. I want to enjoy spending time with my wife more than anyone else.”
He’s a dream.
