Page 113 of The Cerulean Sister
Calliape's face reveals how truly upset she is to break this news to me like this. I know how much she wanted to help when we were planning, how pivotal her role was in making sure I was able to flee if needed, but then that was taken away.
It is clear she scrambled to find a new way to contribute.
She never truly explained her reasoning for leaving Frith, but it was clear that she and Selene have a complicated relationship.She was willing to set that aside to bring Selene here, to help me and my sister. I cannot find fault in that.
I take her hand. "I'm sorry. I was shocked, but you have no idea how much it means that you would try so hard for me, both of you."
"I think she will help now that you are here. She was withholding so that I would not leave again." Calliape’s whispers are fact mixed with warning.
"I will talk to her, just give me a minute to think of what to say. And, Calliape, I know what you have given up bringing her here." I give her a meaningful look.
Calliape wants freedom more than anything, to find her place on her own. Selene is the opposite of that for her. It must have been a terrible decision to come to.
"Of course. As soon as you're ready, we will start."
She makes it sound much more formal than it will be, like I will update them all on some crucial evidence I have collected, that my time in the Estate has been well spent. I have only just today spoken with Leema, and I am nowhere closer to getting inside her temple.
I watch Calliape and August join Selene and Thad at the table. The kind-looking older man bows his head to all of us and then exits with the now empty box.
I glance over at 99. Tethering myself to him would be so easy and I would know what he is thinking, his version of events, but I can no longer rely on that luxury. It's difficult to not know his emotions before his words or physical reactions. How did we ever communicate before our linked minds did the work that our words could not?
"Did you try to stop them?" I ask, more curious how he truly feels about it than wishing he did.
"No. There was always someone here, waiting for you." His response feels like he hasn't answered at all.
I nod, coming to terms. There is no other route to let myself go that doesn't seem exhausting. "It would be unlike any of you to not try something while I was rotting in that cell."
His inhale is so sharp, it scares me.
"I'm sure you are imagining it much worse, 99."
"I can't help but imagine the worst from this place."
"I am ok. I will tell you what happened to me in that cell when I can show you too, when we can calm each other's minds and face the memory of it together."
He nods so stiffly. I know it is just as much of a challenge for him too.
"I can't believe she came or that August went back to Frith." I smile just thinking of him facing that world again. "But how?"
"Their beacon was switched on right after we left. They were waiting to hear from Calliape." He touches the side of my eye gently, another perceptive person noticing the physical effects of my visit with my sister. "You are upset?"
My defeated sigh makes his helmet tilt slightly. "I spoke to Leema. I tried to enter her temple, but I don't think I will be able to."
There is so much more I could say about my time with Leema. I wish I could just pour out thoughts and emotions through our tether, and I would have no doubt in my mind he would understand the nuances and complications of what she said and made me feel.
"She explained her reason for leaving the estate. I am entirely different from the last time I spoke to her; I would not have understood her in the slightest if I still had the ears of the person I was before." I shudder, thinking of that scenario.
"What was her reason?" His tone is neutral.
"The priestess order was using her as a pawn, fuel to keep me under control."
Even saying it aloud now, I feel a fresh wave of guilt.
"I am glad you spoke to your sister." His voice is so sincere, a mixture of relief that Leema's reason was not directly my fault and a longing for his own resolution with Oliver.
I hug him again, wrapping my arms around his armored middle. The breath he takes reminds me of the kind when all his armor is off and he climbs into bed, like he can finally relax.
"I miss you," I say.
