Page 118 of The Garnet Daughter
I draw back in shock, unable to hang onto a single question zipping through my mind.
He cups my face. “I already knew, Calliape. I heard what Selene said to you after the council meeting. Not every detail, but I pieced it together. You were so guilt-ridden on Frith. I only wish you would have told me when we were stuck there. I could have comforted you.”
“You did comfort me, August, more than you can imagine.” My lip quivers uncontrollably, a relieved sob building in my throat, and soon I won’t be able to keep it down. “I would have not made it there without you, or the birthlands or anywhere.”
His throat bobs as he swallows hard, his own eyes glossier than before, but somehow he’s still a fortress of strength and patience as I fall apart.
“I always have your back no matter the mistake, do you hear me?” He wipes away the tears from my cheeks and holds my face firmly, until I nod in understanding.
Wrapping me in his comforting arms, he presses me against his chest, whispering calming words and letting me purge the emotion I wanted to hide from him.
We breathe in rhythm, cocooned in each other’s embrace until his forearm beeps with an incoming message.
“I will stay with you and let 99 know it’s an emergency.” He quickly silences it and glances out the still-open cargo hatch where the weapons totes were loaded.
“No.” I wipe away more of my tears. They are sparse and more controlled now. “I will be alright, I promise.”
“Should you stay with Ferren on the fleet ship?”
“No.”
“Ferren loves you like a sister, so don’t push her away because you assume she is too hurt.”
“I’m not yet ready to tell her about the highest selection, and I don’t want to push her away anymore . . . or you.” I smile at him shyly.
“I like the way that sounds.” He runs his knuckles across my cheek. “If you are unsure about us, your feelings for me, fine. I can live with that. But you come to me with burdens like this. I don’t want you holding them alone anymore.”
“I will, I promise.” I pause for a long time, wishing I had something better to say. “I’d like to finish our conversation when you are done with whatever you are doing with those weapons.”
“I am taking them to the front lines and making sure the perimeter defense towers are working properly,” he repeats. “And yes, I would really like that, Callia.”
I take another breath, but it is shallow, as if the air is passing through a crack in a stone ward. One I have placed myself, built strong and layered in self-doubt and assumption. And even though August has shown me the way out from behind it, it’s up to me to begin to crumble it the rest of the way down.
Chapter
Thirty-Five
By dawn, August is still not on the ship with no sign of returning. Not wanting to be alone after a fitful night’s sleep going over every detail of our conversation, I decide to fold into the Viathan fleet ship, seeking out Ferren. I step into the mess hall, hoping she is in need of company as well. She’s analyzing her data pad so intently, she is unaware of my entry.
“Morning,” I say lightly, knowing the topic she is researching without confirmation.
She greets me, gesturing to share her brothy Viathan breakfast, but I settle on the protein squares I’ve finally grown accustomed to.
“They haven’t returned yet.” She smiles, trying to hide the fact she knew I would ask.
“All night?”
“They are setting up some weapons called turrets. 99 explained, but I stopped listening after he described a spinning gun on a beacon tower.”
“Oh, that’s . . .”
“Terrifying? They are lining the perimeter with them, below the walls of the city.”
“Did you find anything else?” I tap the frame of the data pad.
She purses her lips to the side. “Nothing of use, just more passages and versions of the same, but less clear and mucked up with each new transcriber.”
“I wonder how First Son chooses. If it is the same as First Mother did in the beginning,” I blurt without thinking.
