Page 79 of Code Word
“I’ve never felt this way,” I admitted. “Not about anyone. Never in my life. I’m in this, Luke. You and me. I don’t care what anyone says or thinks. I’m not gonna freak out and bail, so stop thinking that. It’s like every time you open your eyes you expect me to be freaking out or gone. I dunno. But I’m not going anywhere. You’re stuck with me now. There was a no-refunds policy in the fine print.”
He laughed but it faded into a sigh. “I’ve wanted this for years, and I’ve dreamed about being with you, about you doing things to me...” He shrugged. “So it’s kinda hard not to expect the fantasy to disappear when I open my eyes. I’m sorry.”
I put my hands to his neck, my forehead to his. “It’s real. I’m real. What I feel is real.” Then I made a face. “And the water getting cold is real.”
He laughed and shut the water off and we got out of the shower, taking our towels and drying off.
I’d be lying if I didn’t cop a look at his junk. Not blatantly ogling, but he was naked, and I wanted to see...
He stopped drying himself and held the towel out to the side, giving me an unimpeded view. “Better?”
I stared then at his dick, his balls, then drew my gaze up his body to his face. “Much better.”
He snorted and went out into his room, giving me an excellent view of his ass as he walked away. Firm and perfect.
Oh fuck yes.
And it struck me then, really struck me, hownotodd I found all this.
How it wasn’t weird, how I wasn’t freaking out. I’d just had a dry-humping session with a man, and it was one of the hottest things I’d done.
Feeling his erection, how his hard cock slid against mine...
It was hot.
“You okay?” he asked. When I looked at him again, he was now wearing clean shorts. “You spaced out there.”
“Just thinking,” I said, walking out into the room. I handed him my towel, so I was completely naked before him.
He looked. Twice. Then he swallowed thickly before his eyes met mine. “Thinking about?”
“How un-weird this is. I’m not just saying that I’m not weirded out to make you feel better or to reassure you.”
“Oh, okay, thanks?”
I snorted. “I mean it. I just had my first sexual encounter with a dude, and it was one hundred percent hot with zero weirdness.”
“Zero weirdness.”
“Right? It was hot. And I keep having these... thoughts.”
“Thoughts about what?”
“About what we can do next. What I want to do. It’s like I’ve had the sexual-awakening door kicked open. But it’s not even about just sex. I feel it here,” I said, hand over my heart. “I can’t even explain it. Am I overthinking this?” Then I thought about it and tilted my head. “Or is this me freaking out?”
Luke blinked, then chuckled and threw some shorts at my chest. “Maybe we could have this conversation when you’re not stark naked.”
I pulled on the shorts. “Better?”
He nodded, still smiling. “I don’t think you’re freaking out.”
“Me either. I’m...” I shrugged again. “I’m happy. Like, legit happy. Not the kind of happy that makes you smile or laugh, but the kind that makes your heart feel weird.”
“Weird?”
I nodded. “Too big and stuttery. And stupid.”
“Weird, stuttery, and stupid.” He stood in front of me and poked his index finger into my chest. “You wanna be careful, Blake. Sounds like love.”
