Page 95 of Code Word
“But now we have more appendage As and only slot Cs, right?”
He ran his hand through his hair and let out a puff of air. “Something like that.”
I sat up straighter and made him look at me. “Hey. Sex is what we make it. There are no rules, no set definitions, and no deal breakers. If you don’t ever want to do something, then we don’t. I won’t ever pressure you, and I expect you not to pressure me. Jeez, Luke. This is us. You and me.”
“I know,” he whispered. “And I want us to be comfortable, of course. I just don’t want you to be disappointed. This morning, I couldn’t...”
Wait, what?
“Couldn’t what? Luke, baby, tell me.”
His face flushed red. “I couldn’t... I didn’t want to swallow. I panicked and?—”
Oh, hell no.
“Luke, stop. What you did this morning was the hottest thing ever. I mean it. Jesus. I came so fast. And I didn’t even think... it didn’t occur to me that you didn’t swallow. My god, it was your first time sucking dick?”
He nodded, sad and embarrassed. “Well, yeah, of course.”
“You were amazing,” I said, taking his face in my hands and waiting for his eyes to meet mine. “You were perfect and seriously hot. I don’t expect you to do anything, and I can promise you, the first time I suck your dick, I don’t think I’ll be chugging it either.”
He snorted, finally smiling.
“We need to give ourselves time,” I said. “We need to learn each other’s bodies, our likes and dislikes. Like this morning, when you inhaled my smell—hottest thing. And when I looked down and saw your lips around me, and you were jerking yourself off. Hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”
He blushed scarlet, from his hairline right down to his neck. “Jesus, Blake. Do you always just talk about sex like this?”
“Not normally, no. It’s just something I’ve done and never discussed it with them.” I shrugged. “But with you, I wanna make it right. And I don’t want you to think you’re lacking in any way because, Luke, sex with you is unlike anything I’ve ever done. Even kissing. With other people, it was justwhatever. I neverwantedit. But with you, I can’t get enough. I want to touch you all the time. I want to cuddle, for fuck’s sake. I said the wordcuddle? Who even am I?”
His eyes searched mine. “Thank you. For not making me feel... inadequate or amateur or something. I don’t even know.”
“You are neither of those things. I mean it, Luke. We’ll learn this together. It’s new for both of us, right? You’re not Robinson Crusoe here.”
He smiled, his bottom lip pulling in between his teeth. “So,” he began, nervous again. “Before, when I said I think I know what I want...”
“Yes?” I said. “Tell me.”
He smiled and ducked his head. I hated that he felt so shy, but this cute side of him was new. “So, regarding the appendage A and slot C.”
“What about it? If you don’t want to try that, or see which of us is which, or both, or none?—”
“I want that,” he said quickly. “I’m definitely the slot C. Been thinking about being the slot C with you for a good ten years, Blake. I’m not saying I want to try itnow, or anytime soon, for that matter, but just so we’re clear on who’ll be doing what when we get to that part?—”
I barked out a laugh. “Oh.”
He shot me a look. “Oh, what? What’s so funny? I’m trying to tell you what I want. It’s embarrassing, okay.”
I brought him in for a hard kiss. “What you’re saying is that you want a thorough dicking and for me to make no mistake about how good I need to give it.”
“Jesus.” He shoved me, smiling. “But . . . yes.”
I grinned at him. “You wanted it for ten years, huh?”
“Shut up.”
I laughed. “Oh good, that’s no pressure at all.” I put my hand to my forehead. “Especially after the not-earth-shattering comment, I mean...”
He snorted and took my hand from my forehead. He was smiling now. “Thank you. For talking about this. It’s not easy for me, and it’s not something I ever thought we’d be discussing, but here we are.”
