Page 25 of Code Word
“Blake,” he whispered, his mouth drawing down. He put his hand on my arm, giving me a firm squeeze. “Nothing. It’s not like that.”
“But you know!” I said. “Maddox knows. Everyone fucking knows.”
“I don’t know,” he replied. “Not everything. Madz called me and asked me to check on you. He said you were upset when you left, and you weren’t answering your phone. You didn’t go home?—”
“I am home,” I said, gesturing around us. “This is my home. Where I used to live was Luke’s house, and I’m no longer welcome.”
He winced and shook his head. “Blake,” he tried.
“Blake, what? He told me he needs to not see me for a while, so what the fuck am I supposed to do? I don’t knowwhat the fuck I did. I went away for a week and came back, and he’d lost the plot, and somehow it’s all my fault. I wasn’t gonna drink alone. I considered inviting a hundred or so Hollywood B-listers over for a party, but I don’t quite hate myself that much.” I tried my coffee again, managing a sip this time. The bitterness matched my own. “Tonight might be a different story.”
Jeremy took another deep breath and exhaled slowly. “You know, I really want to smack some fucking sense into you right now, and the only reason I’m not is because I’ve been where you are.”
I stared at him. “The fuck? You wanna smack some fucking sense into me? What the fuck, Jer?”
He groaned, a frustrated sound. “Blake,” he said, putting his hand on my arm and standing in front of me. “I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to not be a dick.”
“I’m too hungover for this.”
“Blake,” he said, tone serious.
“Ask me what?”
“They’re gonna kill me for this.”
“Who’s gonna kill you? Luke and Maddox? Well, fuck, just stay here and they’ll never find you because they’re both done with me... for some reason that’s apparently a mystery to me.”
He groaned. “Blake.”
“What? It’s true. Something’s wrong with Luke and everyone knows about it but me. No one will tell me shit, like it’s some great freaking mystery. And it’s Luke, for fuck’s sake. Luke! He’s my best friend. He’s never not told me anything, and now he won’t even look at me.”
He made a face. “Nothing’s wrong with him,” he murmured. “Look, Blake...”
I groaned; my stomach and cracking headache were not helping. “Is it to do with Becca?” I asked, though I had a sinking feeling I already knew the answer to that. “Becausethings between us aren’t great and I’m pretty sure we both know it’s over. Is that what it’s about? Does he hate me because she’s his sister and now it’ll be weird? Because it won’t be?—”
He put his hand up. “It’s not about her. I mean, it kinda is, but not really.”
I tilted my head and squinted at him, my brain not braining. “Thanks for clearing that up. And anyway, I thought you said you didn’t know what this was about?—”
“Blake, how do you feel about Luke?”
His question stopped me. I blinked. “What?”
Jeremy looked me right in the eye, dead serious. “How do you feel about him?”
“He’s my best friend. He’s more than that. He’s like a brother.”
Jeremy winced again.
“Was that the wrong answer?” I asked. “Why was that wrong? He’s my best friend. Since forever. You know that. Every step of my life, he’s been with me. I can’t remember a time when it wasn’t me and him, ya know?”
“Yes, but how do you feel about him?”
“What the fuck kind of question is that?”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes. Of course. Like I love all you assholes.”
