Page 93 of Sweet Surrender
A hand tore through his hair, fisting the strands and he worked his jaw. “That’s your final answer? You don’t think this would work even though it’s working perfectly?”
She shook her head and saw the resolve harden his eyes.
“I’ll get my things together. I’ll be out by the end of the day,” he said, his tone empty.
Panic clawed at her chest, her throat as she reached for him. “Beau, you don’t need to leave so soon.”
He brushed her off. “Yes, I do. I think it’s best we don’t see each other for a while.”
She gripped his arm, terrified at his withdrawal. “No! I’ve just got you back after all these years, please don’t take this away from us. That’s not what I want.”
“But it’s what I want,” he deadpanned, echoing her words. He turned away.
“Beau, look at me,” she pleaded.
“I’ll see you real soon, Tay.” He headed for the door but turned to face her just before he left, his heartbreak shining in his eyes and it was like she’d been sucker-punched. He walked out the door and hysteria bubbled in her throat.
She tried to tell herself that everything would be fine. That their friendship would recover, that they’d been through so much and come so far that she wouldn’t lose him now. Their friendship was too important, it waseverything. He just needed some time.
All day she tried to busy herself with work now that the bar was no longer a crime scene. She tried to dredge up some sadness for Dale, but she was too numb.
Every time the door to the bar opened, she turned, expecting to see those broad shoulders and dark sultry eyes and when she didn’t, disappointment choked her. When the day was finished she ran back to the cabin, hoping he was still there. Maybe they could make some kind of friends-with-benefits type of deal.
She burst through the front door and without even looking around she knew he was gone. The cabin was cold and empty, he’d taken all the warmth with him when he’d left. She ran to the fridge throwing the door wide open, expecting to see all his pots and tubs stacked up, but they were gone. His bag wasn’t on the table, but he’d left the TV. The TV full of baking shows she didn’t want to watch without him.
She went into the bedroom, the pillow fort was stacked on her bed, all his clothes were gone.What about…She spun to the dresser which still held all the photos of them together. He’d left the original one he brought into the cabin. Clearly he didn’t want the reminder anymore, and she grabbed it, clutching it to her chest and burst into tears.
That night she cried herself to sleep.
A Month Later…
“Ye look likeshitefor someone who should be on top of the world,” Dean said. For some reason that Beau couldn’t be bothered to ask about, Dean was trying out a Scottish accent. Trying and failing.
“I’m-” Beau began.
“Are we just gonna blow past whatever the fuck accent that was?” Blake scoffed.
“Christy’s been watchingOutlanderand got a thing for Jamie Fraser so I’m just trying it out,” he explained, his tone defensive as Beau and Blake looked at each other and burst out laughing. Blake slapped Beau on the back as Dean’s prissy expression sent them into another round of guffaws.
Damn it felt good to laugh. He hadn’t laughed for a month, ever since he left Taylor’s cabin after handing her his heart and having it crushed.
It felt like a lifetime ago that he’d been waking up in her bed every day, touching her,kissingher. Now when he woke up, he lay there miserable, contemplating the point of even getting out of bed. If he didn’t have clients, he wouldn’t have bothered.
Dean was right, he should be on top of the world. Business was booming, he was ticking off another career goal met but couldn’t enjoy it at all. Nothing had mattered after she told him they were just friends.
Fuck he was a mess.
He wanted to see her so bad, but he’d stayed away. He couldn’t stay in town and be reminded of her every time he stepped outside his door. He’d escaped to Florida to stay with his sister for a few weeks and wasn’t ashamed to say that when she opened the door to him and he saw her face, there may have been tears.
His nephews were the perfect distraction for him, keeping him busy and his mind occupied. But he missed Taylor so damn much he ached. He wanted to continue being her friend and part of her life but right now everything felt so raw. If he saw her before he was ready, he was genuinely scared he would throw himself at her and beg her to love him. Even if she just faked it again. And no one wanted that. He just wantedher; however he could get her.
Beau knew she was pushing him away because she was scared of what they were and what they could be. He knew she didn’t want to lose what they had now and he understood that her whole life she had been abandoned by people who said they loved her. He knew she had doubts about real, lasting love. But damn, she had kissed him, that had to mean something, right? Didn’t she love him just a little?
He also figured the fact that he wanted kids was a factor in her pushing him away, but it just made him love her more. He wanted kids but he wantedtheirkids, children they would raise together, that didn’t automatically mean biological children.
When he moved out of the cabin it was like he left a limb behind or a vital organ, he couldn’t seem to function without her. He longed to hear her husky dirty laugh, her sassy quips. He missed the smell of her, the feel of her, missedBake Offevenings with her, even tidying up after Tornado Taylor. He couldn’t escape his misery even in his dreams. He always found himself dreaming of her, of them together. Always woke up with his cock hard and his heart aching. It was all too much.
He had finally dragged himself back to Citrus Pines yesterday, figuring he’d wallowed on his sister’s couch enough already. Tomorrow was Christy and Dean’s wedding and the first time he would see Taylor after a month. Anticipation had his heart skipping in his chest. At least they would be surrounded by their friends so they wouldn’t be alone long enough for him to screamplease love me!at her as she walked down the aisle.Awkward.
