Just like Gertrude.
Grabbing a spoon from the drawer, I slumped to the floor, one leg cocked and the tub resting on my knee as I dug into it.
I devoured the tub, not pausing even when I got a little brain freeze.
The cream melted on my tongue and the cheeky ice cream-making-minx had hidden chunks of strawberries coated in dark chocolate in the mixture. I stumbled across one every now and then and crunched through it with immense satisfaction. It’s like she knew exactly what to make, just for me.
I sat on the floor, my back to the cabinets and ate every last mouthful and then I noticed her music next door had stopped. My meal plan for the evening had gone out the window now that I’d eaten the whole tub. I wasn’t hungry enough for dinner but the thought of breaking my routine didn’t bother me as much as I imagined it would. Maybe because the ice cream was so damn satisfying and I just wanted more.
The sun had set and a chill swept in, so I pulled myself off the cool kitchen tiles, my back cracking as I did. I rinsed the tub and set it on the drainer to dry before I changed into some comfy sweats.
I was closing the drapes later that evening when something out the window caught my eye. It was dark outside so I couldn’t be sure what I saw but it was a flash of something silvery white. I squinted out and saw the flash once more.
“Shit, not again.”
I ran downstairs and outside right to the back of the yard then climbed the fence, jumping into Gertrude’s yard. I stood at the bottom of the old firtree and peered up, just able to see her in the moonlight.
“Gertrude, what in the hell are you doing?”
“Knitting a frucking sssweater!” she slurred back.
“Are you drunk?”
“Are you drunk?” she mimicked, her voice so ridiculously deep that I knew I couldn’t possibly sound like that.
I pinched the bridge of my nose moaning about damn foolish women. “Get down here before you hurt yourself!”
“No!” came the shouted reply. A branch snapped and there was a kerfuffle.
“Gertrude?” I shouted. “Get down, you’re drunk and why the hell are you climbing a tree at,” I paused to look at my watch. “Midnight?”
“Because I can. It’s fun you ssshould try it sometime!”
There was another snap and a grunt from up above me and my temper was hanging by a thread. She could fall and break her neck and what was she even wearing? I could see her bare legs; she must be getting scratched to hell.
“Come down, Gertrude.”
“Come and get me! Have some fun for once in your life!” she shouted back. I heard her add, “You never know, you might dislodge the stick in your ass.”
There was another snap and a branch crashed down in front of me. Her squeal had me racing to the bottom of the trunk. “Goddamn it!” I shouted, shoving aside my fear of heights and climbing the tree after this woman, for the second time in my life. I found a foothold and hefted myself up, my adrenaline surging and pushing me on. Every time I got near her, she shimmied higher. “Damn it, Gertrude. Stop moving.”
“Shush,” she hissed. Her leg dangled in front of my face.
I grabbed it. “Ha, gotcha!”
“Don’t, you’re tickling my foot! Let me go or I’ll kick you!”
“You’re infuriating!” I shouted back.
“We’re almost there,” she called down, sounding slightly less drunk.
“Gertrude, I don’t like this. I can’t see the ground,” I called, scanning the darkness.
“I know, isn’t that amazing!”
I fought an eyeroll at her enthusiasm. Why was she such a daredevil? I heard some more movement, then a thud and a deep sigh. I shimmied higher, my hands stinging from the rough bark. I spotted her sitting out on a thick branch. She patted the spot next to her, and I heaved myself over and joined her, clinging on for dear life.
“Isn’t that a beautiful view?” she sighed.