Page 25 of Revelry
Neil finished with the plant and faced me. “You do it because you’re scared.”
There was silence in the room as I glared at the messy magazines my brain was desperate to straighten but my pride wanted to prove I could leave them alone. My fingers twitched and nerves screamed, but I could do this. My vision started to blur and I realized I was tearing up. It didn’t happen often but Neil had picked at a particularly sore wound.
A tear trickled down my cheek and I brushed it away angrily, sniffing.
“Tate,” he sighed. “I want to help you, but you’ve got to help yourself. I’m begging you. Otherwise, I don’t know what more I can do for you.”
The resignation in his voice scared me. I didn’t want to get referred to another doc. I liked Dr. Parker and despite what he thought, I did get something out of these sessions.
I sniffed again, wiping my hand over my face. “I’ll try harder. Just give me some more time.”
“Next month,” he agreed. “Next month I want progress.”
I nodded. “Okay, I can do that.”Can’t I?
“I’m hard on you because I worry about you. I don’t want you to go the same way as your mama,” he said softly.
I bristled and turned my glare on him. “I wouldn’t do that, Neil.”
He held up his hands. “I’m just concerned.”
“I appreciate that, but that’s not something you need to worry about. I would never.” There was still time left in my session but mentally, I was done for the day. I told Neil that and he let me leave without a word, I think he knew he’d pushed too hard today.
I drove home, blaring music all the way, feeling all the feelings and hating every second of it. You couldn’t control feelings.
Parking on my driveway, I swore under my breath when Gertrude came out of her house, a box in her hands. She was waiting for me to step out of my truck, with an eager smile on her face that twisted my insides even more.
“Hey Tate, I made you something,” Gertrude said, holding the box out to me.
I brushed past her. “No thanks.”
“Well, technically it’s for me too,” she continued, like I hadn’t spoken. “I’ve had kind of a rough afternoon and would love some company and I can’t ask—”
I whirled on her, not realizing how close she was behind me. “We’re not friends, Gertrude. Leave me alone!”
Her blue eyes widened and this close I could spot the tiny flecks of purple. She clamped her lip between her teeth. My stupid eyes dropped down to watch her maul her pink lip, trying to stop it from wobbling.
“Not everything is about you, Tate.” She shoved the box at me and I grabbed it to stop it from falling. Then she pushed past me, checking me with her shoulder which given our height difference, hit me in the gut. Her front door slammed and it was about then that the guilt hit me in the stomach right where her shoulder just had.
I stomped up the path and pounded on her door. “Gertrude, sorry. I’m an asshole!”
“Yes, you are,asshole!” she shouted back, muffled through the frosted glass paned door, right before she stuck her handagainst it and showed me one finger in particular. I would have laughed at her sass, if I didn’t feel so shitty.
“Open the door, Gertrude.”
Nothing. I waited a little while longer until her form disappeared. Then I heard music blaring loudly and realized she wasn’t going to give me the time of day. I deserved that.
I left her stoop and crossed the shrubbery separating our footpaths and went inside my house. My quiet, barren house, which normally felt like a sanctuary, but after my encounter with Gertrude, was too quiet. I placed the Tupperware on the kitchen counter and stared at it.
The woman had made me something. She’d taken time out from her life to create something for me, something she thought I would like.
No one ever did things for me.
A weird feeling twisted my gut and made me hum. I cursed and peeked inside the container and immediately the mouthwatering scent of strawberries hit me.
“Oh dang,” I moaned, tearing the lid fully off and seeing the pink, smooth, frozen treat inside. I swiped a finger through the ice cream, digging deep as it had set well and put it into my mouth.
“Holy shit.” It was perfection; sweet, creamy and a little tart.
