Page 41 of Crazy in Love at the Lonely Hearts Bookshop
Nina sighed and pulled out her phone to call up Google Maps. They needed to go left. ‘Not a step!’ she barked. ‘We’re taking you to Nando’s.’
‘You’d better do what she says,’ Noah advised. He gave a theatrical shudder. ‘She’s frightening when she gets cross.’
‘Terrifying,’ Nina said in her scariest voice. ‘OK, get into pairs ’cause we are going to make like a crocodile and I don’t want any bitching about it.’
There was no bitching but quite a lot of groaning and then with Nina at the head and Noah bringing up the rear, they delivered twenty boys to Nando’s and the neglectful parents of Sunil and Sanjay.
‘Why am I so changed? Why does my blood rush into a hell of tumult at a few words?’
It was a good half hour later that Nina finally had a gin cocktail bigger than her head on the table in front of her. Unfortunately, she’d only managed one sip because she was currently crying with laughter.
‘And … every … time … he … got … shot … he … acted … like … he’d … just … been … elec … tro … cuted,’ she wheezed as she recounted Peter’s last stand. ‘Really, he’s wasted at Ye Olde Laser Experience … he should be … on the stage … Oh God, don’t make me laugh any more. My ribs are killing me.’
‘I haven’t … said … a … word.’ Noah shook his head; he was laughing so hard that he had to stop speaking and cling to the edge of the table to keep himself upright. His face was pink, the freckles standing out in stark relief, as he dabbed at his eyes with a napkin. ‘Can’t speak.’
Nina had recovered enough that she could now take an appreciative sip of her spiced-pear martini. ‘Talking of which, what exactly did you say to Peter? He went quite pale.’
Noah waved a feeble hand, the laughter dying down to a few stray chuckles. ‘I told him you were an undercover trading standards officer sent in by the council to make sure they were complying with all aspects of Health and Safety after several customer complaints. And once that had softened him up, I told him that he was being a dick to a ten-year-old boy who was there to celebrate his birthday.’ Noah took a sip of his negroni. ‘I hate bullies and now that I’m in a position where I can stand up to them, I do.’
And there it was again: the reason why this could only ever be a non-date. Why would Noah ever want to willingly spend time with the sister of the boy who’d bullied him mercilessly when he hadn’t been able to stand up for himself? It was probably time to confess. Maybe she should start with mentioning how sorry Paul was – he’d texted Nina earlier that week reminding her of his offer to do free plumbing for Noah.
‘You’reverygood with the pre-teen male demographic,’ was what Nina heard herself say. She rarely shied away from a confrontation, except, apparently, tonight. ‘Is this where you tell me that you have a couple of sons tucked away at home?’
‘Not that I know of.’ Noah shook his head again. ‘Actually, I can categorically state for the record that I have no children. Though I’m racking up an alarming number of godchildren and nephews and nieces. How about you?’
‘No godchildren,’ Nina said, because none of her friends had got around to reproducing yet, though she’d bet even odds that Posy would be pregnant before the end of next year. Sebastian was already talking about adding another wing to their already huge townhouse to accommodate the brood and though Posy usually rolled her eyes and told him to shut up, she didn’t seem averse to the idea of having children. ‘Nieces in the plural. My two favourite people in the world.’
Again, this was a perfect opportunity to bring up the father of those nieces but instead Nina pulled out her phone so Noah could admire Ellie and Rosie in a selection of princess and superhero outfits.
Then Noah showed Nina his nephews and one niece, who were still quite pint-sized and ranged in age from two to eighteen months to just hatched.
‘Kids don’t really give you a lot to work with until they’re at least a year old,’ he said. He flashed up another picture of two-year-old Archie. ‘This one didn’t start speaking until a few months ago though now he never stops. Mostly about trains. We took him to an adventure park with a Thomas the Tank Engine ride and he just about exploded.’ He picked up his almost empty glass. ‘Now, you, you were very good with our new best friends. Very indulgent when it came to the selfies.’
Before they’d parted company at Nando’s, Nina had agreed to numerous selfies with Sanjay’s friends and cousins. She’d refused the requests for kisses, but had gamely draped an arm around each of their shoulders so they’d have bragging rights back at school for having their picture taken with ‘a fit bird’.
‘My twelve-year-old fanbase are pretty easy to please,’ she said modestly. ‘It’s the grown-up boys that are real hard work. Present company excepted.’
‘I’ll take that as a compliment,’ Noah said lazily and he clinked their now empty glasses, and itwasa compliment because being with Noah, in a non-work scenario, felt like the easiest thing in the world.
They’d been on two non-dates and Noah hadn’t even seen Nina in actual date mode, when her dresses were skin-tight and she was cleavage as far as the eye could see, but she still caught him giving her these appraising side glances, when he thought she wasn’t paying attention, like he was properly checking her out. And from the way his eyes darkened and he caught his bottom lip between his teeth, Noah liked what he saw.
Nina really should have brought up the non-date thing by now but actually this was all starting to feel quite date-like. Noah’s legs were brushing against hers under the table, not in a lecherous way, but because he had long legs and it felt as if they were both comfortable with each other now and yet it also felt thrilling, giddy,sexy.
‘You should take it as a compliment,’ Nina said slowly. ‘Youarereally nice.’
But I don’t think we should be anything more than friends.
But you do realise that this is a non-date.
But there’s something I have to tell you.
But I don’t have feelings for you. Not in that way.
But the buts never came. And Noah pulled a face. ‘Nice? Nice is a bit lukewarm, isn’t it?’
It was. Especially when your type could be filed under B for bad boy … ‘Nice is a bit of a welcome relief after some of the horror shows I’ve dated,’ Nina said truthfully. And then because this was going off-message fast and their glasses were empty, she stood up. ‘My round. Same again?’
Noah nodded and looked at her, thoughtfully this time, as Nina picked up her purse. She smiled at him a little warily and yes, she was a little regretful that she was wearing a big twirly skirt so that he couldn’t check out her hips as she walked away.
