When they reached the lame replica of a medieval village, Noah quickly and quietly dispersed his army, who split in two and belly crawled in opposite directions so their flashing lights wouldn’t be seen as they mounted their offensive positions.
‘OK, you know what to do?’ Noah asked Nina. ‘The success of this entire operation depends on your sacrifice.’
He’d gone method and though it pained Nina to admit it, Noah’s zeal, his eyes shining in the dim light, a huge grin on his face, was actually quite adorable.
‘Always happy to take one for the team,’ she drawled and she touched her hand to the side of her head in what was meant to be an ironic salute but Noah solemnly saluted back and then disappeared into the shadows.
Nina wasn’t belly crawling anywhere. Instead she ambled further into the medieval village, gun held in front of her, though every now and again she’d swing it around wildly as if she was genuinely staking out the place just to show willing. She headed for Ye Olde Red Bulle, a mock-tavern which sadly didn’t seem to serve any alcohol, when there was a large, lusty roar behind her and the other team ran out of the church and quickly had her surrounded.
‘Kill her!’ Peter shouted and Nina stood there while she was pelted by lasers. After a few seconds of being shot at, the lights on her vest, which had chafed something rotten, went out and she was dead. Metaphorically speaking.
‘You’re meant to die!’ Peter shouted at her. ‘On the floor.’
‘Dude, I’m wearing vintage, no way am I getting on the floor,’ Nina protested and as Peter argued back and his teammates stood around and watched, their guns hanging limply in their hands, Nina saw her own team quickly surround them and open fire.
They never knew what had hit them. One by one the lights went off on Team Peter’s vests until it was just Peter left, ducking and diving and contorting his body to try and deflect the laser tagging, until he was writhing on the ground, firing his gun into mid-air as all his lights went off one by one until there was just one forlorn light on his belt, blinking on and off.
‘Sunil, do the honours!’ Noah shouted. ‘Team, cover him!’
‘You won’t get away with this!’ Peter shouted back as Sunil stood over him and shot out his last light.
‘Oh, grow up!’ Nina hissed at him, as Sunil was swamped by his teammates and some excited and noisy high-fiving. ‘You just lost a stupid laser game. Deal with it!’
Peter struggled to his feet as even the dreaded Sanjay and his friends offered congratulations to Sunil who was smiling so hard, Nina feared that his face might snap in two.
‘I counted at least five illegal moves,’ Peter blustered and the grin on Sunil’s face faltered. ‘You’ll have to forfeit the game and I’m taking all of your names because you’re banned for life from …’
He stopped when Noah put a hand on his shoulder. ‘A word, please.’ It wasn’t a question, or even a suggestion but an order, which went with the grim expression on Noah’s face so that even Nina, who for once was wholly innocent, gave a guilty twitch.
As the lights came on, Noah led Peter over to a secluded corner and with arms folded, delivered a short speech. Noah didn’t put his hands on Peter and as far as Nina could tell over the excited chatter of the boys, he didn’t raise his voice, or even wag a finger or point. But whatever Noah was saying, it wiped the belligerent expression from Peter’s face, made his shoulders drop and he took a step back. Noah continued talking until finally Peter nodded.
The two of them walked back to where the boys were still congregated. Peter headed straight for Sunil, who tried to hide behind his older brother though Sanjay adroitly side-stepped away, leaving Sunil to face the wrath of the angry man in the boiler suit.
‘Well, yes, congratulations, young man,’ Peter said as if every word was choking him. ‘And happy birthday. I’d like to offer you and three friends a complimentary session at Ye Olde Laser Tag Experience anytime in the next six months.’
To his credit, Sunil didn’t gloat until they were all standing outside. ‘Yeah, I got him good! No one messes with the mighty Sunil!’
‘Shut up, Sunil,’ Sanjay said witheringly. ‘And thank the nice man and lady.’
Sunil solemnly shook hands with Noah and Nina like they were visiting dignitaries. ‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘Do you want to come to Nando’s with us?’
‘It’s very tempting,’ Nina said. She turned to Noah. ‘Isn’t it?’
‘Very tempting,’ he agreed, with another of those almost imperceptible winks, unless you knew to look out for them.
‘But you don’t want us spoiling your cheeky Nando’s,’ Nina pointed out.
‘True dat,’ said Sanjay, the little beast, but Sunil shook his head.
‘Well, my parents will be there. So you’ll have other old people to talk to,’ he explained earnestly as Nina tried not to look too destroyed because she wasn’t even thirty and that wasn’t old, although, yes, she could easily have a ten-year-old son, even a twelve-year-old son like Sanjay, but she didn’t and anyway she was afungrown-up.
‘I really need a gin cocktail bigger than my head,’ she explained to Sunil who blinked at her in confusion.
‘Another time,’ Noah said, putting his arm around Nina to guide her away. Then he paused. ‘How are you all getting to Nando’s anyway?’
‘We’re walking, bruh,’ someone called out. ‘Is only a minute away.’
‘We just have to ask a friendly-looking person which way the Mile End Road is,’ Sanjay said. He nodded decisively. ‘I think we go right.’