Page 39 of Craved By You
My neck popped as I twisted it from side to side. “I just don’t want her to hate me. Even if there isn’t a chance. When I saved her, all I did was remind her that the monster she was running from was right behind her every step of the way. I should have left her alone.”
After a moment of silence, Ryder walked over and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Don’t say that, man. If you hadn’t shown up, who knows what would have happened to her in that alley. You saved her, and thathasto mean something to her.”
“Yeah, it means one monster saved her from another.” I let out a single chuckle. “Does it truly mean anything when she looked at me with such utter revulsion? You weren’t there.” I paused. “I would rather her hate me for not being there to save her rather than her hating me for the person I’ve become over the years.”
“You don’t have to be that person anymore.” Chris leaned over and tousled my unkempt hair. “You can literally stop all of this. Right now. I have an idea.” Chris pulled out his phone and began frantically texting someone. I noticed Ryder looking over his shoulder, and I had the urge to inquire what was so interesting, but instead, I kept my mouth shut.
Was it really that easy? To just stop all of it and move on? Leave that world behind? I turned away after the fifth time I had caught both of them smiling from ear to ear. I had no clue what they were up to, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. The weight of my secret had finally been revealed to almost all of theimportant people in my life,almostall. It was still crushing me under its immense despair. The hope I had briefly dared to feel had been extinguished, and it left behind only the bitter ashes of my reality.
Chapter 25
Astrid
One Month Later…
The neon glow of Karaoke Cavern pulsed through the crowded bar, casting shadows over the sticky tables and boisterous patrons. I slowly nursed a whiskey-heavy Crown and Coke while Haileigh was on her third glass of chardonnay. “I am so excited for girls' night!” Haileigh held her glass of wine up and waited patiently for me to notice so we could cheers tonight's celebration. “You’re out of your apartment, you got all dolled up, surely you are going to catch the eyes of some hunk.”
I rolled my eyes as she wiggled her eyebrows up and down, smiling at her attempt to cheer me up. The truth was, I hadn’t been able to get Colt to stop running through my mind like a hamster on a wheel. After everything had happened, Haileigh insisted that I take a couple of weeks off. During those two weeks, I began meditating and asking for guidance over what I was supposed to do, hoping that by some miracle I would hear the answer that was best for me.
Even amidst the flashing lights and off-key singing, I couldn’t stop thinking about him, and a feeling of regret panged inside me.Why didn’t I let him explain?I could have picked up the phone and called or texted him many times. There were days when I would go to the coffee shop and just sit and wait for him to come. He never did. All of it left me emotionally exhausted.
Haileigh cut into my thoughts, keeping me from taking the leap down the rabbit hole as I chased the white rabbit. “Isn’t this fun?”
“It’s sure… something.” I mustered up a weak smile.
“Come on. Loosen up a little, would ya?” She nudged me playfully. “One more drink and you’ll be up there belting out some power ballad. In fact, I’ll sign you up!”
I grabbed for her as she ran off to go track down the sign-up sheet. I couldn’t sing worth a damn and I wasn’t looking forward to hearing what song she selected for me. On the other hand, she made tonight happen, she had been super cool and understanding. I supposed that I did technically owe heronesong. I threw back the rest of my drink, accepting my fate. “Another, please.” I motioned at the bartender who had a heavy-handed pour.
It had been a few minutes since Haileigh had disappeared and I knew it shouldn’t have taken her that long to sign us up for karaoke.Great, she’s been kidnapped.It was the only clear thought that crossed my mind as everything started to feel jumbled. I glanced up and down the bar and couldn’t see her anywhere. With no other option, I gave up my prime seat at the bar in the attempt to hobble around and find her.Shit, maybe I shouldn’t have slammed that last drink.
Soon, I heard the obnoxious laughter over the music and I knew there was only one person who would be able to laugh over the bass. I followed the sound until I noticed other voices laughing along with her, for a moment I thought I might even recognize them. As soon as she came into view, I saw Chris and Ryder, who had both still been vying for her attention, to either side of her. What were the chances that they just so happened to be at the same Karaoke bar as us, at the same time?
“Hey boys. I’m surprised to see you here at our girls' night.” I tried to be nice, but part of me was annoyed that Haileigh most likely had something to do with them randomly showing up. It wasn’t like they had anything to do with what happened between Colt and I, but if they were here, it was only a matter of time before he showed up, too.
“Can I get Astrid Alexander to the stage?” the announcer called out over the crowd.
Damnit, Haileigh,I thought as I finished off my drink and made my way toward the stage. “It better be a good song!” I called back to her just before she was out of earshot.
As soon as I was on the stage, I grasped the microphone and pulled it from the stand, my hands were shaky and panic began to flare in my chest.There’s no way I will be able to sing in front of all these people, I thought,I’m not a rockstar.
My mind went blank as soon as the songTaking Over Meby Evanescence began to play and I looked over in Haileigh’s general direction. Not only had she chosen a song full of passion, but now I was going to also be butchering the ever so talented stylings of Amy Lee?Great.
I began to sing, my voice quivering as I kept my eyes fixated on the karaoke screen to help keep my nerves down. At least I diduntil movement across the back of the room distracted me and my curiosity got the best of me. I looked up and there he stood.
Colt.
As soon as our eyes met, I couldn’t look away. My confidence began to grow as I continued the song, stammering over the words, unable to take my eyes off him. There was something different about Colt that I couldn’t place. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept in weeks. I didn’t even notice when my song ended and the announcer was coaxing me off the stage as the crowd cheered and applauded.Had I even finished the song?
When I exited the stage, I kept my eyes on him as he remained frozen in place. His expression was unreadable, but it didn’t seem like he had any intention of being the one to approach me. Quickly, I made my way back to Haileigh. “I thought you couldn’t sing?” she teased. “You were fantastic!”
“He’s here.” Those were the only words that I could say.
Haileigh softened her voice and excused herself from Chris and Ryder. “You okay?”
I swallowed hard, my throat suddenly feeling dry and my brain feeling sober. “Yeah, fine.” I was far from being fine. “Did you plan this?”
Haileigh paused and looked down toward her feet.
