Page 82 of We Were Never Lovers
“Yeah.”
Sean nodded. “You never told your sisters?”
“No, never. I’d never without your permission.”
Sean sat up again. “Yeah, but, with all that,” he waved at his head, “you needed someone to talk to.”
Jack rolled his shoulders against the bed in a shrug, slipped his hands around Sean’s waist. “It still wasn’t my place to say. And you never committed to wanting that, before. You said, but never like, made plans to do it.”
“But—”
“No, Sean,” Jack tightened his hands. “No buts. I’d never fuck you over like that, no matter what. And I was fine, really.”
Sean spread his palms on Jack’s chest, stroked his fingers up and down his rib cage. “No, you weren’t,” he said quietly. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry, man, I was a cunt.”
“No,” Jack said vehemently. “You were hurt. It’s not your fault, none of it. And I was really fine. Happy, just happy to have you with me, no matter what. The only bad thing you did was say you were gonna leave.”
“I woulda just come back,” Sean said.
Jack gripped him tighter and his voice was both unsure and hopeful when he said, “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” Sean nodded, sure of it. “I’d never be able to stay away from all this.” He ran his hands up and down Jack’s chest.
Jack closed his eyes. “Good, that’s good.”
And Sean really was an asshole—he’d seen how much this had been cutting Jack up before, and he’d been going to leave anyway. It was time to get him some back-up.
Ben came over early on his own as requested.
“Okay, I’m here, where’s the fuckin’ fire?” he asked as he came in with a carton of beer under one arm and a bag with snacks in the other hand. “Lara’s got the salads and she’s bringing the birthday present. Sorry we forgot it last time.” He went on a long-winded explanation about getting his kid dressed to go out anywhere and how you’d turn around for one second and turn back and find him naked, tearing around the house.
Sean grinned at him. He was looking at Ben, here and now in his living room, but he was also seeing him on his wedding day, Sean beside him as his best man, seeing him in the hospital holding his newborn son, the awe and joy in his face on both occasions. He felt a weird ache at the loss he’d experienced of the memories.
“Beers in the esky,” Sean said as Jack said, “You didn’t need to get me a present.”
Ben rolled his eyes and told Jack he was an idiot.
“Alright, sit,” Sean said once Ben was done with the beers.
“Geez, cuz, what’s gotten into you?” Ben replied but did as he was told. Jack and Sean sat down across from him.
“I got my memories back,” Sean said.
Ben sat back, surprised, then went to get up. “That’s fuckin’ unreal. For real?” He looked between Jack and Sean, his face beaming as he went to come around the table.
“Sit, sit,” Sean said and Ben did. “We need to tell ya somethin’.”
Ben sat down again, looking between them.
“You’re not retirin’ anyway?” Ben asked. “Ya don’t need to and fuck knows we need you.”
“No,” Sean shook his head as Jack said, “Definitely not.”
“Alright, so?”
Sean looked at Jack. Jack was already watching him back. His smile was small but it was real, hopeful.
“Jack and I are together,” Sean said and looked at Ben.
