Page 83 of Sinful as They Come
I walked over to the smiling Brodie, placing my tray down on the table. Sawyer didn’t look up at me. He just rubbed his thumb across his chin. Did he feel weird around me now? After all the… crying. And the drama. Maybe it was awkward for him, or maybe he was biting his tongue, waiting for the right moment to pull the trigger and hurt me.
“Hey,” I greeted softly.
“You can sit with us, Holly.” Brodie patted the table.
“Everyone’s laughing at me. You don’t want me to sit with you.”
“We’re used to people laughing at us. Right, Sawyer?” Brodie looked at his cousin.
Sawyer just sent Brodie a look, his lips pressed tightly together. Whatever he wanted to say, he was keeping it to himself.
“Seriously, sit.” Brodie nodded.
My eyes fell on Sawyer and how he kept avoiding my gaze. “I can go sit outside or something…”
“Just sit.” Sawyer didn’t look at me as he said it.
He was being generous. Much more generous than I deserved. I nodded at him, getting settled on the bench. Sawyer was sitting directly in front of me, but if I slid over to look at Brodie eye to eye, it would be an acknowledgment of just how uncomfortable it all was. Sawyer Westbrook had never made me cry, but he had seen me cry three times now thanks to my boyfriend, and I was certain I had never felt more pathetic in my life.
“So…” Brodie coughed. “How’s your, uh, Tuesday going?”
“It’s Monday, Brodie,” Sawyer deadpanned.
“I knew that. But those two days feel the same.”
“Do they? Or is that just you?”
“This guy doesn’t know what he’s talking about.” Brodie shook his head at me while Sawyer just rolled his eyes.
I laughed softly at their interaction. Brodie and Sawyer always seemed to get along no matter the situation. It was so… easy. So carefree and simple. Just like me and Annie. My poor Annie, who was stuck in detention because of me. I planned on giving her a huge hug when I saw her next.
“My Monday’s going good,” I answered the question. “However, it seems like a lot of people think I’m a huge loser and aren’t afraid to laugh right at my face, so there’s that.”
“Join the club,” muttered Brodie. “You want Sawyer to kick their asses for you? Sawyer, can you do that?”
Sawyer shot Brodie a glare. I just smiled at the both of them.
“I’m just gonna try and ignore them,” I said. “I mean, I don’t know what else to do…”
“Tell ‘em to get fucked,” Sawyer said, his green eyes on me.
I cleared my throat. That was easy for someone like Sawyer to say. He probably said that phrase twenty-times a day. But I had always prided myself on being civil and collected. Except when I was around Sawyer, ironically enough.
“That’s good advice,” I whispered.
“You’ll be outta here before you know it.” Brodie took a gulp of his soda. “This time next year you’ll be in college, right?”
I leaned my arms on the table, not really in the mood to eat. “I don’t think I wanna go to college anymore.”
“You’re not gonna let one stupid asshole ruin the rest of your life,” Sawyer said, his voice as clear as ever. It sounded more like a demand than anything else.
“Well, I just don’t think Columbia’s the best option for me anymore,” I said lowly. “I don’t know what I was thinking applying there.”
“Whoa, Columbia? What do you mean?” Brodie asked, slamming his soda can on the table. “That’s so cool. Why don’t you wanna go anymore?”
Embarrassment hit me and I suddenly felt like I was stuck in some dark, impossible to escape tunnel. Was I really going to admit all my fears to Brodie while Sawyer sat right there, his eyes stuck on me? Why was he looking at me like that? Like he knew something I didn’t?
“I just feel like this pain is gonna follow me there,” I admitted. “And maybe I won’t be able to cope. At least here I have a couple people on my side.I won’t know anyone at Columbia. And this pain is gonna stay, and I’m not gonna be able to handle it. I should just withdraw my application or something.”
