Page 84 of Sinful as They Come
“Don’t do that,” Sawyer practically snapped at me.
“Why?” I frowned. “What do you care for?”
“You’re not throwing it all away because of some dumb, high school quarterback. This is the highlight of his life. After this, it’s all downhill for him…” Sawyer let out a long breath, his voice lowering. “It’s the opposite for you. Don’t you get that?”
I felt something in my heart but I didn’t know what. Sawyer could be so sweet when he wanted to be. I almost always saw his bad side, though. The side I had come to know very, very well.
“I just wanna forget all of this happened,” I murmured. “Or find a time machine or something.”
“Go with the first option,” Sawyer offered. “Forget these assholes. They’ll move on... You will too.”
I shook my head, pushing my salad around. None of the fresh, leafy greens looked exciting to me. “I have a feeling that I won’t. Every room I go into, I see another girl he cheated on me with. Some other girl I have to compare myself to…” The black hole of insecurity Carter had created was sucking me in deeper and deeper. Why hadn’t I been good enough?
“You think you’re gonna remember Carter in ten years?” Sawyer asked. “You think you’re gonna remember him in five?”
All I could do was offer him a weak shrug in response, my fork piercing some of my lettuce. I heard Sawyer hiss at my non-answer as he pressed his heavy hands to the table. The sound caught my attention, but it was the serious look in Sawyer’s eyes that kept me staring at him.
“Brodie, if you ever tell anyone I said any of this shit, I’ll deny it. Forget everything I’m about to say.” Sawyer narrowed his eyes at his cousin before staring back at me. “You, however, you remember every word that’s about to come out of my mouth.”
Brodie just raised his eyebrows in response, his hands barely hovering over his ears.
“Did you really think this was it for you?” Sawyer asked.
The question sounded rhetorical, so I kept my mouth shut.
“You’re better than him. You always were,” Sawyer said sternly. “I was waiting for you to wake up and realize that. You thought Carter fucking Henderson was how it ended for you? That guy’s a loser. Don’t let him have any sort of power over you. You’re going to Columbia. You’re getting out of here. Even if you weren’t going to Columbia, you’d still get out of here. There’s a lot of places for you to go, Holly. You don’t have to forget what he did to you.Rememberthat, because that was a lesson. All he ever did was bring you down. Don’t let him ruin any of the fight you have – the fight I see when you and me get into it. Keep that. Keep that confidence, that spark. It’ll come in handy wherever you end up going. You’re gonna go far, Holly. Carter was never gonna keep up with you.”
Okay, nowthatwas officially the nicest thing Sawyer had ever said to me. Brodie looked just as taken aback as I was. I bit at my bottom lip, feeling like I was about to start crying right then and there thanks to how much was going on in my brain. Sawyer kept staring at me, like he was waiting for me to protest, but every word he said made absolute sense.
He was right. I knew he was right. One day I’d feel okay, but that wouldn’t be for a while.
“Thank you,” I said softly. There was silence for a long while before I ended it. “Things are better when we’re not fighting, huh?”
Sawyer huffed, letting out a small laugh. I couldn’t help it when I smiled at the noise.
***
I had kept to myself the entire school day. It was easier to avoid people, and I was sick of the sound of laughter. I had never been more excited for the clock to strike three and made a quick getaway home, flopping down on the couch with a loud sigh.
God, I was so tired. Not just from everything that was going on with Carter, but from cheer and The Chronicle and the fact that my mind wassuddenly occupied with Sawyer Westbrook. He was everywhere I went lately. God, he had protected me and looked out for me more than once. My enemy had become something else. Something I was becoming stupidly fond of.
He had been so nice to me during lunch. I hadn’t forgotten his kind words.Keep that confidence, that spark. When I had been with Carter, it had been so easy to crouch down into someone I wasn’t. His cruelness often got to me. It made me doubt myself and who I was.
How did I let Carter dig his claws into me like that? Why hadn’t I seen it all earlier? And why was Sawyer the one who was being so sweet to me? It suddenly felt like he was the only one who understood me, and that was truly saying something. Maybe Sawyer knew me better than I thought.
With a sigh I finally got off the couch. munching on some chips and dip before heading upstairs to get changed. My parents would be home soon, so the house was quiet and lonely. Wanting some form of communication to get my mind off of Sawyer and Carter, I jumped on my laptop and scrolled through my emails. Sales, sales, and more sales.
But something caught my eye. An email from Eric Anderson.
Holly
You must know by now that I have been working with your classmate and friend, Sawyer Westbrook. After purchasing his painting, and after talking consistently with staff at the library, I’d like to make him an offer. The head librarian, administrator and I are on the hunt for local up-and-comingartists.
We would like them to paint a mural that would be placed in the library foyer. My first thought was Sawyer. He would be compensated for his work. I have since lost his number since our previous sale. As you have worked with the library in the past, I was wondering if you could please get in touch with him and let him know about the offer? We’d like you to interview him for the library’s website and newsletter when it’s all finished with – if you’re up for it, of course!
Sincerely
Eric
