Page 109 of Try Hard
“Right. Soph sure as shit better not be there when we do that.”
I shook my head, laughing and sniffling. “Agreed.”
“Glad we’re on the same page. But, what I’m saying is that I will enjoy it no matter what you need.”
I sat up. This was important and I needed to get it all out—she wanted me to. I waited until she’d joined me, both of us cross-legged in the middle of the bed. Her eyes were so beautifully penetrating and deep. I needed—wanted—to tell her everything, but I got the feeling she knew a lot of it without me speaking, like she understood me completely. Still, I was saying it. For myself as much as her.
I looked down at both our hands. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle you touching me.” I wanted her to, but I’d given thatallowance in the past and been betrayed. I trusted Eve to keep her word, but, if we were in the middle of things and she was touching me, I knew my body would panic and the entire thing would be over.
“Intimately or at all?” she asked calmly.
Surely it would be too much to say at all… It wouldn’t be fair.
“At all. Got it,” Eve said when I didn’t respond for a long moment.
“No, I—”
“It’s okay. Iwantto give you this. Everything you need.”
“But it’s going to be so boring for you if you can’t—”
“Believe me, it will not. I get to be with you. That’s already the best thing ever.” She shot me a suggestive grin. “Plus, some people like it when their hands are restrained…”
I couldn’t help but smile, realising she was right and that she really was okay with what I was asking. “Are some people in this room?”
“Not no,” she said with a wink. “You, pinning my hands down? Sounds like afantastictime to me.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes.” There was absolutely no space for doubt in her answer. She looked like a fairy godmother had shown up and granted her every wish.
“Okay, so… if I pinned your arms against the wall…?”
Her eyes went wide and I could see the way her pupils dilated. It made me feel giddy.
For several moments, she seemed lost in thought—good thoughts,greatthoughts. Ones she was clearly having an incredible time with. Her expressions felt like they set a fire roaring inside me, and I could feel my temperature spiking.
“Yes,” she said eventually, emphatically. “Very, very into that.”
I tried unsuccessfully to stifle my smile. “Great.”
“Tell me what else you want while you’re pinning me to a wall.”
The way she saidwantmade me feel so ridiculously tender. We were talking about safety precautions I needed, but she was open to everything beyond that. She wanted to know what I wanted from her, what I wanted from sex. She cared about my choices. She cared aboutme. It shouldn’t have been unexpected, not from her, but my tortured heart and mind felt unbelievably soft.
So, I thought about it. I was more aware of what Ineeded, how to prevent my body from shutting down completely, than what Iwanted. But Eve was asking with a completely open heart, and I wanted to know, with her.
I wanted her to be involved. For a moment, my brain stalled on how to have that be a thing while her hands were restrained. Then, my eyes fell on her stunning, thick thighs. The prettiest ones I’d ever seen. So soft under my touch last night. So strong when she ran down the field. So exceptionally gorgeous.
With anyone else, this conversation would have been mortifying, impossible. With Eve, everything felt possible.
“How do you feel about sitting in a chair and having your hands pinned to the wall?” I asked, more than a little shy.
“Fantastic,” she replied immediately.
“And, if I got you off first?”
“I mean, your mere presence will probably speed that right along, so whatever you want.”
