Page 35 of Try Hard
“It’s not fake,” Eve said, offering me a small, secret smile before she looked at Tanika. “That’s not what I do anymore. It was great while it lasted, but it’s not going to stick around. Honestly, it’s a wonder it’s lasted this long. And, even while you’re actively playing, it’s not like you don’t get bad press, or, you know, the expectations, and it’s, sadly, still nothing like men’s sports in terms of… well, pay, audiences, all that stuff.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Tanika said, waving her hand. “Of course we can get into all of the politics of it, but that’s not really the point right now. The point is that you’re hot, a celebrity, and you must get women throwing themselves at you all the time.”
Eve shrugged. “Sure, sometimes. But I’ll take that over the guys who feel the need to tell me I’m kind of hot but too muscular.”
I frowned. She said it lightly, but I could only imagine it would be annoying. Eve was a lesbian, so it wasn’t like she’d date any men, but I’d seen the comments online from those guys too. The ones saying she looked too masculine, that she’d be better with smaller muscles and bigger boobs.
Correctly, they usually got laughed out of her comments by all of the people who found her perfect as she was, but that didn’t mean that the comments never hurt.
Too fat, too thin, too strong, too weak… where did it end? When were women just allowed tobe?
“They’re wrong,” I said firmly, looking at Eve. “You don’t need to be lessanything.”
She smiled softly at me, but there was a question in her eyes, one I knew she wasn’t going to ask. Still, I couldn’t help wondering what it was.
“Too right,” Tanika agreed, and Sammy nodded enthusiastically.
“Absolutely,” she coughed through the latest bite of her food.
Eve’s smile changed as she looked across the table at the two of them. “Thank you, all, but it’s not something I give much attention to these days. I know who I am and I’m not changing it.”
I almost jumped when two fingers stroked my back. Eve’s obviously, but she wasn’t looking at me. Just a private, grateful gesture that tingled across my skin.
Tanika laughed. “I mean, the people you want to be interestedareinterested, so…”
“I guess that’s true,” Eve allowed, and her fingers moved from against my back, but from the tiny shifts I could feel against my head, I was almost certain she was playing with my hair.
My heart pounded like we were back in school—where she’d never touched me or my hair. But why did she still have to be so ridiculously attractive and good and sweet? It was hard not to be drawn in by her, but I wasn’t looking for a relationship. Plus, she had plenty of women throwing themselves at her. There was no way she needed or wanted me in all of that.
Sammy raised her glass in cheers. “Can confirm you’re giving the sapphics exactly what we want.”
Eve blew an amused sound through her nose, cutting into her pancakes with just her fork. “Anyway.” She shook her head. “Sammy, what is it you do for a living?”
Sammy sat up straighter under Eve’s attention, smiling and blushing a little.
Did Eve really not recognise what she was doing to the woman? She must not. She wasn’t the type of person to play with the feelings of others for fun.
“Oh, I work in a nursery—the human kind,” she said, laughing on the clarification that she worked with tiny people, not tiny plants.
“Ah, your days must be chaotic,” Eve said, and her fingers weredefinitelyplaying in my hair.
She’d been tactile with her friends at school. The whole group of them had been—always hugging, high fiving, and the like. Ordinarily, I didn’t let people touch me this much. My family, sure, and former partners had, but it had been a minute. Other people, not so much. Playing with my hair was intimate. It was partner behaviour. But, it felt okay with Eve. And it wasn’t partner behaviour with her. Maybe that was why it felt okay. I’d seen her do her friends’ hair back in school, back when I’d been so desperately hoping to be closer to her, even when I knew that would never happen.
I glanced across the table at Tanika as Sammy talked at length about her job and how exhausted it left her, and it felt like slamming into a wall. Her eyes were full of accusations and that was the moment I remembered she’d known. Back in school. We’d been close. She’d spotted the ways I looked at Eve back then. She’d known I was bi before I’d even told her—so she’d admitted once I finally did come out to her.
And she was looking at me that same way. Like she knew something was happening.
I scowled at her, shaking my head almost imperceptibly.
She couldn’t know that Eve was touching me. She couldn’t be reading something into it.
But she could see the way I was looking at Eve. Was it still there? On my face? That look that she’d been my gay awakening, the fact that she was still one of the most beautiful people I’d ever seen.
It was different. We were older now, finally becoming friends, maybe. But I’d spent several of my formative years looking at her like I wanted her. Maybe it was hard to look at her any other way.
“Can I get you more drinks?” a waiter asked, startling me and causing Tanika to laugh. She was absolutely smug.Shit.
“Orange juice, please,” I said after Tanika had ordered herself another mimosa.
