Page 62 of Try Hard
“I’m here if you want to talk about it.”
I did want to talk about it. To her. It didn’t make any sense, but I did. I wanted her to stand beside me and scare away the things I didn’t like, just as she had with Gary all those years ago.
“I promise I’m here to listen,” she reassured me with a gentle tone when I simply stared at the bed in silence.
“Yesterday, when I got home, a guy I work with, Fuad, called. He said there are some changes being considered.”
“Changes you don’t like?” she asked easily, and I was amazed how readily I wanted to answer. I didn’t want to burden her, but she really did sound like she was fully engaged andwantedto listen.
“Yeah, I guess.” I paused, chewing on my cheek briefly. “It’s silly because anyone could see them coming from miles away, but the job’s already changed so much from when I started, and it’s not exactly like I have it that badly. It feels foolish to complain.”
“You’re allowed to like some parts of your job and not others.”
I nodded, more to myself than her, particularly since she couldn’t even see me. “They’re floating the idea of having us make content for social media, which, of course they are. But that’s not me. I’m not an onscreen personality and I don’t want to be—hell, I don’t even knowhowto be. And, yeah, I guess it’s silly. There are people out there who would sell their souls to be influencers, and I’m potentially being asked to do a little bit of that and I feel… lost. I shouldn’t even be dealing with this while I’m off, but I’m also glad I know because some warning is better than none, right?”
“It’s okay if you felt like you wanted to shoot the messenger,” Eve said gently.
I laughed bitterly. “I think, famously, that’s something you’re not supposed to do.”
“We’ll allow it this time. Just for you.”
“I also think that requires revisiting that wholemeanthing we discussed.”
“Nah. Everyone’s upset about news they get sometimes, and everyone’s felt angry at the messenger for it. I know you well enough to know you weren’t mean to him, even if you were upset.”
I considered, thinking back to my call with Fuad and the unending texts he’d been sending me all evening. “Yesterday, I think I was frustrated, but, the longer it goes, the more I hear from him about it, the more it’s bothering me. Like, the longer I sit with it, the worse it feels.”
“The more real it becomes.”
“I guess, yeah.”
“Do you want to stay there?”
That was the crux of it. The one I’d been trying to contend with when Eve had texted me. “I thought I did.”
“But now you’re not sure?”
I blew out a breath. “Can you just fill in my side of the conversation and then tell me what the outcome is? You know me well enough.”
Even in the wave of confusion, something warmed in me from saying that and knowing it was true.
She breathed a laugh and sounded hopeful when she said, “I’m glad I do.”
“Me too,” I whispered.
“I don’t think I can tell you what to do here, though.”
“Shame.”
She laughed once, sympathetically. “But what I can do is promise to be by your side as you figure it out. You can talk to me, you can have any and all emotions you want about the situation, and, if you end up deciding to stay and do the on-camera stuff, I can help with that.”
“What? How?”
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Ophelia,” she said, sounding amused, “but in another life, I was quite the public persona.I think you mentioned something about seeing some of my interviews.”
“Hm. Yes. One or two.” One, two, five, five hundred… What difference did it make?
Eve laughed, but the sound was still intimate, sympathetic, sweet. “Well, I’ve had quite a bit of media training. I can help you with all of that, but only if it’s whatyouwant.”
