Page 31 of Love Me Back
The horse took a step closer, and I froze. I watched him closely as he moved around the stall, wondering if I should back up. Something inside me told me to stay put. Maybe it was my own longing to belong. To be trusted.
“I’m taking a chance here with you. I want to trust you. But you are kind of scary.”
The horse stopped moving closer. His tail swished, and I wondered how he could move it like that. I knew dogs had muscles that extended into their tails, but this guy’s tail was all hair. At least I thought it was. I’d never actually touched a horse. Maybe what looked like hair was really tiny little muscles.
I shook my head and smiled. I was losing my mind.
“I wish I knew what to feed you. I’d offer you a treat, but I don’t know what horses eat, and I don’t want to give you something that will make you sick.”
His ears flickered again, as if he were listening and could understand me. Maybe they were like dogs and understood the word treat.
“I’ll look it up later and bring you something tomorrow, okay? I don’t want to ask ’cause I don’t want anyone to know I’m here. I need a place to run where Grayson can’t find me.”
The horse reared up, and I jumped off the door. Something I said made him react, and I wasn’t sure what it was. I backed up against the stall across from his when he hung his head over the door.
“Did I say something wrong?”
My eyes widened when the horse shook its head from side to side. I swear he knew what I was saying. I narrowed my eyes and wondered.
“Do you want me to come back tomorrow?”
He dropped his head up and down and snorted again. I really was losing my mind. My parents used to talk about a show years back calledMr. Ed, the talking horse. Was this what they meant?Could horses talk?
I shook my own head, trying to dislodge the ridiculous notion that a horse could talk. But before I left, I told him, “I’ll be back tomorrow. And I’ll bring you something.”
I hurried from the barn and made my way back to the house. I wasn’t sure what awaited me, but I was here to do a job, and I gave my word.
My trip back to the house was much slower than the trip to the barns. Partly because I wasn’t ranting and raving in my head, not paying attention to where I was going, and partly because I wasn’t in a hurry to go back like I was to get away.
I walked up the steps, stopped, and stared at the front door. I blew out a breath, hoping to dispel the stress and anxiety I was feeling about facing Grayson again.
However, when I stepped inside and found his hard eyes glaring back at me, I knew it hadn’t worked.
“Where the hell have you been?”
“I went for a walk,” I said, closing the door behind me. Brushing past him, I tried to get away, but he once again grabbed my wrist, and I felt that shockwave shoot up my arm. I yanked it away from him. I couldn’t let him touch me. Every time he did, I lost a piece of my resolve.
“Jessie, I’m sorry for earlier.”
“You said that already.” He followed me into the kitchen, and I got myself busy making coffee. I loved coffee, but if I made coffee every time Grayson made me feel flustered and confused, my stomach lining would dissolve.
“Would you please talk to me?”
I slammed my hands on the counter and took a deep breath. Spinning around, I looked at the man. He was so handsome it hurt. It physically hurt my chest to want him so much, knowing that I could never be with him.
“What do you want to talk about?”
“Anything. I don’t want you to be mad at me. I shouldn’t have kissed you earlier. That was my lack of control when it comes to you. I know you don’t feel what I feel, and I should have stoppedpestering you months ago. I won’t let it happen again. I want us to be friends.”
This was my chance. This was the moment for me to reach out and tell him the truth. That I did feel what he felt. That I wasn’t sorry he lost control and kissed me. That I didn’t want to be his friend. I wanted to be so much more.
But it would never work.
So instead, I pushed what I wanted down, again, and told him what he wanted to hear.
“I’d like us to be friends, too.”
His smile was so wide and bright that my eyes burned. I turned away and finished making the coffee.
