Cecily could practically hear her younger sister chewing on her lip. She reached up slowly and extended her fingertips until they rested on Agnes’s cheek. She cupped her sister’s face, which felt flushed, likely a mixture of excitement and concern.
“I love you for that, Cece,” she said, using the special nickname that only she used for Cecily. “But I do not wish to make you unhappy or uncomfortable by being forced into a social event.”
Cecily patted her sister’s cheek fondly.
“I would endure the worst torture for you, Aggie,” she said. “A ball is hardly the worst punishment in the world.”
The younger woman fell silent, and Cecily knew what she was thinking. With the way thetonhad treated her since her own debut, it might as well be torture to be attempting to mingle with them. But she meant what she said to her sister. There was nothing in the world she would not do for Agnes.
Cecily laughed and pulled her sister into an embrace.
“Stop worrying so much, Aggie,” she said softly. “If anyone gives me any nasty looks, I will not see them.”
At this, Agnes laughed, but it sounded nervous and on edge.
“You do joke a great deal about your condition,” she said, pulling back to put her face close to her sister’s. At this distance, Cecily could almost see the blue of her sister’s eyes, which mirrored her own eyes, and the dimples in the younger woman’s cheeks, which she herself did not have. Her heart ached, longing to see her sister’s face clearly, just one more time.
Cecily nodded, giving Agnes a brave smile.
“I joke to let you know that I am all right with what has happened to me,” she said. “It is serious, to be sure, but there is little that can be done to help it. I would rather smile and be positive than turn dark and gloomy all the time. And that is yet another reason why I am looking forward to your debut ball. So, there.”
Cecily tried to convince herself as she spoke that she meant her words. She did mean that she was thrilled to witness her sister’s coming out ball. She was not, however, looking forward to the stars of theton. It was true that she would not see them clearly, but she would very well feel them. And though she was mostly blind, her hearing worked just fine. Any snide remarks made would not fall on deaf ears.
Agnes hugged her sister again, and Cecily felt the tension in her body. She was clearly torn about the situation. Of course, she wanted her older sister at her debut ball. But she was struggling with guilt because of the scrutiny Cecily would surely endure.
“If anyone makes you upset, you must tell me at once,” Agnes compromised. “I will see to it that they are removed at once.”
Cecily laughed. It was strange to hear her younger sister being so protective of her. And yet she could not help admitting that it filled her with even more love for Agnes.
“I am sure that will not be necessary,” she said. “But if it is, I will be sure to tell you.”
There was a pause, during which Cecily imagined that her sister nodded.
“I insist that you do, Sister,” she said. “That is the only way I will be able to relax and even try to enjoy myself tonight.”
The sisters were silent for a moment. Cecily knew that her sister would spend more time worrying about her than anything. And Agnes likely knew that Cecily would never say a word if someone made her unhappy. Still, the ball would begin in a few hours, and they both still needed to get ready.
“I love you, Aggie,” Cecily said, pulling her sister to her to embrace her once more.
“I love you more, Cece,” she said.
Cecily saw her opportunity and giggled.
“Well, then, prove it by going to get yourself ready for your ball,” she said.
Agnes sighed, rising slowly from her seat.
“You are right, Sister,” she said. “I will help you to your chambers and then send Greta in to get you ready.”
Cecily nodded, taking her sister’s arm, and letting the younger woman guide her up the stairs and to her bedchambers. She could feel Agnes struggling still with her concern for her sister. Cecily felt terrible. She wished there was something she could do to ease her younger sister’s mind. But she knew that Agnes would never make the same peace with Cecily’s blindness that Cecily herself had.
True to her sister’s word, Greta entered her bedchambers only moments after her sister left. She took Cecily’s hand and led her over to the wardrobe. Cecily adored Greta. She was as much her friend as she was her lady’s maid, and she did as much as possible to continue to treat Cecily as though nothing was wrong with her vision.
Cecily loved her parents and her sister, but they often treated her too gently. Greta, however, would do only as much to help Cecily as she needed and then let her do the rest on her own.
“Which dress would you like, my lady?” Greta asked. “You have your deep red, light green, pale cream, soft pink, white and dark blue ones.”
Cecily closed her eyes for a moment, imagining herself in each one. Just because she could not see did not mean that she could not look her best.
