Page 40 of The Penitent Duke
Lucian chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Why would I eventhinkthat such a thing was your doing?” he asked, as his friend shrugged. “You, Lord Radcliffe, have been nothing but an annoyance these last few years. You have done all you can to irritate me out of my current thinking and have practically demanded that I do as you ask in terms of coming to London society.”
This made Lord Radcliffe smile.
“You have done nothing that would encourage my despondency but instead have done quite the opposite,” Lucian continued, putting one hand to his friend’s shoulder for a moment. “I do not believe for a moment that you have anything whatsoever to do with this. Besides which, I know of your character and I cannot imagine for even a second that you would wish any harm upon Lady Rosalind… nor on anyone, I might add!”
“Indeed not.” The smile on Lord Radcliffe’s face turned to a scowl. “I think that whoever has done this – and continues to do this – is nothing short of an utter scoundrel who deserves to be given the greatest punishment imaginable. Why, he could have taken Lady Rosalind’s life, though I do hope that was not his intention.”
“I can only pray so,” Lucian agreed, a sudden knot in his stomach. “He mayhap did not mean for her to hit her head on the tree and the pond was shallow enough for her not to be in danger of drowning but all the same, it was a dreadful thing to do. Would that someone had been able to see him do such a thing! Then we would know who it is that we must be careful of.”
Lord Radcliffe looked to Lucian. “I must ask you this, though it gives me no pleasure to suggest it, but have you thought of ending the betrothal?”
Lucian smiled, his response clearly surprising Lord Radcliffe given the way his eyebrows lifted. “Ah, my friend. I have asked Lady Rosalind that very thing but she refused me.”
Lord Radcliffe’s eyebrows shot up. “You offered to end the engagement?”
With a nod, Lucian took a sip of his brandy, his gaze going around the room. Suddenly, he was no longer wondering about the strange lady who had hidden herself from him but cared enough to give him a warning. Instead, he was looking for Lady Rosalind, suddenly eager to find her and be in her company once more.
“I am surprised,” Lord Radcliffe continued, when Lucian said nothing. “I did not think that you would be…”
“That I would be as considerate?” Lucian asked, as his friend flushed but nodded. “I quite understand that and certainly do not hold it against you. Yes, I agree that I have no exemplary character and certainly have not shown even the smallest bit of consideration for anyone ever since Lady Pearl lost her life and I will also admit that I have become selfish and even a little cruel.” He spread out one hand. “You need not look too surprised, my dear friend. This is all something that you yourself are well aware of, something that you have sought to pull from me these last few years but I have refused. You have told me repeatedly that the guilt I feel has no place on my heart and, while I will not accept that for I am still quite convinced that I ought to have a burden of responsibility to bear, I see now that I should not have let it turn me into so dark and morose a character. I have become unfeeling and unkind and, had it not been for Lady Rosalind’s presence in my life, I am quite convinced that I would have remained so.” A small smile touched his lips. “Thankfully, her goodness is enough that she is willing to stay by my side, willing to become mywifeand that even in the face of such danger. She herself has received a warning also, you understand, and that has caused some difficulty but yet, she is still quite determined.”
“Goodness.” Lord Radcliffe’s voice was quiet, clearly struggling to take in what Lucian had expressed. “I did not ever think that you would ever take yourself out of the shadow that had cast itself over you but now to hear that you have… well, I am delighted!”
“It is because of Lady Rosalind,” Lucian answered, quietly. “I do not know what it was but when she told me that she wanted our engagement to continue, it was as though a veil was lifted from in front of my eyes and I saw her as she really was for the very first time. And,” he continued, honestly, “I saw myself as I truly am – and what beauty was being offeredto me.” Swallowing a slight ache in his throat, he shook his head and sighed. “I saw what I was doing to that beauty.”
“To Lady Rosalind?”
Lucian nodded. “Yes. I chose her because she had no other choices when it came to the gentlemen of London, thanks to her brother’s foolishness. Then, though I did not mean to, I was inconsiderate in my pursuit of her answer as regards my proposal and she found herself bound to me without having made a decision herself. Thereafter, I have spoken harshly to her, have treated her with inconsideration and with sharpness and yet, despite all of that, she is willing to marry me still. And that evenwiththe injuries she has suffered!”
“That is what you mean when you say that you see her as she truly is, then?” Lord Radcliffe asked, a sense of wonder in his voice. “Goodness, Strathmore, there is more depth to you than I had ever imagined!”
Lucian laughed and shook his head. “I highly doubt that. Though, truth be told, I recognise that what I felt for Lady Pearl, though it was fondness, was not anything akin to my present feelings for Lady Rosalind – and indeed, you need not appear so shocked. I will admit to you openly that I have certain affections for the lady, though I am still trying to understand my own heart.” Taking in a breath, he smiled half to himself. “I have been given another chance, my friend. Another chance to see Lady Rosalind as she truly is and to not only appreciate her but value her also. My heart, though it still bears pain and grief is, I think, slowly beginning to see that there is more to what I have made my life to be. More that I might have, should I be willing to release my past.”
“And your guilt?”
Hesitating, Lucian shook his head. “No, I think that will always be with me. I will forever regret permitting Lady Pearl to join me on the ride back to the estate. I should have told her to go by the carriage, I should not have let her persist. But I recognise now that no amount of regret will take back what has been done. I can bear the guilt but I do not have to permit my character to linger in darkness.”
“Indeed you do not.” Lord Radcliffe lifted his glass in a toast. “I am delighted to hear you speak so. I am all the happier now to know that you are determined to change from thisdismal Duke, as you are known, to something – to someone– better.”
“I thank you.” Lucian lifted his glass also, tapping it lightly against Lord Radcliffe’s. “I also thank you for your determination to push me out of the shadows. I know that I was not always kind to you, nor open to your suggestions.”
Lord Radcliffe winced. “No, you were not. But now that you are returning to yourself, I am glad that I did persist. And,” he continued, “I would also be glad to aid you in whatever situation you face now. Do you know what you will do next?”
Taking in a breath, Lucian shook his head. “No, I do not.” His eyes caught upon a young lady and, smiling, he bowed as she came towards him. “Lady Rosalind, I am delighted to see you.”
She smiled and as he bowed, Lucian put out his hand to her. She accepted it and Lucian brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand and sending a shiver right through both himself and, seemingly, through her. Her cheeks warmed all the more and though she pulled her hand back as was expected, the smile on her lips remained.
Lucian’s heart squeezed with happiness.
“Good evening, Lady Rosalind.” Lord Radcliffe lifted an eyebrow. “Is Lady Eleanor –”
“She is to join me after the country dance,” came the answer. “She is very eager to see you, I know.”
Lord Radcliffe beamed and Lucian chuckled quietly, thinking to himself that he had never seen his friend so besotted.
“I was just telling Lord Radcliffe about what has happened to us both of late, in the warnings we have received,” he told Lady Rosalind, as she came to stand close beside him. “Lord Radcliffe was asking what we were to do and, truth be told, I can think of no immediate solution. I do not know who the gentleman is that we ought to be careful of and thus, I can see no way forward.” He tilted his head just a little, looking down at her. “Might you?”
At this, Lady Rosalind’s eyebrows lifted, perhaps surprised that he had asked her such a thing. Then, she smiled gently and leaned against him. “Perhaps we need to do nothing other than plan our wedding. We have not set a date as yet.”
