Page 35 of Your Biggest Downfall
We swayed together, oblivious to the crowd around us. I brought my hand to the necklace that plunged between her breasts, fingertips grazing her skin. She arched into my touch, her body reacting to every caress.
Our faces were inches apart, and the shine in her eyes was unmistakable, the desire burning bright between us. I brushed my lips against hers, softly at first, then more urgently as the music’s tempo increased. Our kiss deepened, tongues dancing in a sensual rhythm of their own.
“Fuck me, Nova.” I moaned, my high fading, but I was still obsessed with the way she felt against my body. Everything felt hot. “I need to fuck you,” I whispered.
She nodded and pulled me down so her full lips were next to my ear. “Let me escape with you,” she whispered.
14
nova
I loved the feeling Austin gave me... or was it the drugs? No, it was definitely a mixture of the two because this had to be the best night I’d ever had, but now my high was gradually slipping away, and Austin was horny, and I second-guessed everything.
Austin led me back toward the office, but once he pushed the door open, a couple girls were in there with a guy from the team.
“Dude,” Austin shouted. “The fuck?”
“Room’s taken, try the back bathrooms.”
I didn’t care. I was chasing a feeling and I needed it. My gums throbbed as I ground my teeth together, trying to figure out how to stay in this headspace. It felt like a bubble. I’d run into a bubble that took me up and brought me to a place that was happy. It felt fucking euphoric.
I wanted to have sex with Austin. I wanted to because everything in my veins itched to touch every part of him. My brain urged me on, telling me I was doing the right thing. A small piece of me understood I was a virgin, and having sex inside a bathroom wasn’t what I pictured for my first time.
“We need to find privacy,” I said, running my hands along his arm.
I wanted to feel his warmth against mine. I wanted to tell him my entire life story. I wanted him inside my skin if I could get it.
“Come on.” He gestured to the back bathrooms, and we practically bolted down the hall. “Very few people know about these, they usually go to the ones in the bar.”
“Okay.”
It didn’t matter. For the first time in a long time, I was feeling very in the moment. Nothing mattered except the way Austin’s skin felt against mine, the way the music pounded in my ears, and all the ways I could prolong this feeling.
I understood. I fully knew why he did this. I was never going to shame him because this escape was something I’d want to chase too.
We pushed open the door to the women’s bathroom. Two stalls occupied the space, one larger with a smaller one next to it. Fortunately, we were the only ones here.
Austin tried to lock the door. “Fuck. It doesn’t lock all the way.”
He grabbed the baggy, but even in my heightened state, I couldn’t let him get in trouble or have anyone come in. I grabbed his hand and pushed him into the larger stall. There was just a toilet in the middle, but the lock to the stall worked.
It was disgusting and smelled like stale pee and beer.
Austin looked around. “Let me line up on the toilet paper dispenser.”
“Ew,” I said out of instinct. Thank fuck he wasn’t talking about the actual toilet because I may have barfed. “Do you know how much vomit, e-coli, and other bacteria you’d be inhaling too?”
Austin laughed. “Since when are you a doctor?”
I shook my head. “Not a doctor. Just maybe a little germaphobic.”
“Do you trust me?”
He’d asked me that earlier in the night, and I told him I did, then I ended up doing a dab of coke. But fuck it, of course I did. Because why wouldn’t I trust a stranger whom I was wholly infatuated with in a seedy bar bathroom with a bag of coke in his hand?
I giggled, realizing how much this was so not me either, but I felt like I was a fish in a big sea and the fisherman had finally hooked me, pulling me up to freedom. It felt good, even though I was running out of air, even though it was new. I wanted to chase it.
“Yes,” I said blankly. At this point, what could be fucking worse?
